SKITTLES really satifies...

I'm not much of a candy eater. That having been said, my exile in Nowhere, North Carolina has taught me something.

I love Skittles.

I've been averaging a bag of Skittles a day. We have a vending machine here that produces a modest bag of them for a mere 65 cents. I have found this truly to be a bargain, as I have been consuming the tasty little devils at a substansial rate.

I love them too much. The other day the machine produced 2 bags instead of one. I grabbed both bags, retreated to my office and stuffed both bags down my gullet while laughing like a madman.

I've realized I have become the equivilent of a Skittle crack whore. One day the machine was out of them and I actually panicked.

I've eaten so many Skittles I'm afraid of crapping a rainbow.

Fortunately, an exchange between me and one of my co-workers helped me get things back in perspective. I was eating a bag of Skittles and he was talking about... oh, I don't know. I kind of tune things out when I eat Skittles.

He looked longingly at the bag. I looked back at him like a mother protecting her young. But reason and politelness prevailed. So I told him to hold out his hands and I proceeded to pour a modest portion into them.

His wife was standing beside him and glaring at him.

"I shouldn't have these," he explained. "I'm diabetic."

"Oh," I replied. "In that case take the whole thing."

And I poured the entire bag into his hands and walked away.

Maybe I'm really just addicted to comedy.

Either way, I've never really liked that guy.