My Little Dolfans

Mary Ann and Alexis show their support for Your 3-0 Pre-Season Miami Dolphins.

Of course, as you can see below, it wasn't a perfect shoot.

Mary Ann has yet to master the complex art of waving a flag.

Freakin' amatuers.

And someone needs to tell Alexis that the Arena League folded.

What kind of wierdo would keep an AFL flag in the back of his black, oranged-striped PT Cruiser?

Yeesh.

Perspective is just a matter of perspective

Hi, there.

I'm back from another adventure in Miami.

It was frought with blackberries, scheduling conflicts and me and Mike Guerdon at the Falcon Pub drinking beers and Jagers and lip-synching Joe Buck and Troy Aikman calling the muted Bucs/Dolphins game and parlaying Joe and Troy as gay men. Which is not much of a stretch. Kinda like a gay, NFL, Mystery Science Theater 3000 kinda thing. It was f-ing funny. I've never laughed so hard in my life. We're drunken, pathetic, comedic geniuses.

Hanging with Grudly Mandinko is always the best. My-brother-from-another -mother and I can never fail to make each other crack up, no matter what the circumstances. Sometimes, because of the circumstances.

I couldn't help but notice that Joe Buck is a great porn name. Until you see the guy.

I got back tonight just before 9pm. This will be the last time this happens for a while. I'll be working some odd hours that suck from a life angle, but fit well from a transportation angle. The ride to and fro to Miami is a bit much.

When I told my Mom tonight I was walking to Walgreens to get some things because after a 4 hour drive, I'm kinda feeling like walking... Mom says "Yes, you walk or else Strombosis will kick in."

Great, something else to worry about.

I didn't even know about Stombosis until Mom mentioned it. I still don't know about it. I think I ordered it in an Italian restaraunt once.

And I don't want to know about it.

It would ruin the mystique.

Shuttle goes up at midnight. Both the shuttle and I should be lit by then.

Peace out.

Are you ready for some football?

Let's talk a little football, shall we?

Of course, we will start, predictably, with your MIAMI DOLPHINS.

I got to watch the pre-season game against the Jags Monday, because I was in Miami and there was local coverage. No such luck tonight, but it's ok, I'm home.

What I saw Monday was a team with a lot of depth. We have a lot of young talent that looks pretty damn good. This, combined with a culture of winning that has been created by The Tuna and Coach Sporano (that we should have had since Shula left) leaves me very hopeful for the season.

Chads Pennginton and Henne looked good. Ted Ginn Jr. also stood out with some nice catches. And the defense looks to shine with Jason Taylor back on our team and back in The Tuna's good graces.

(Figure JT-99: Jason Taylor hopes to intimidate opposing offenses with his gigantic, bobbling head)

One player I am excited about is Cameron Wake, the two-time CFL Defensive Player of the Year for your BC Lions. He got a sack on the Jags Monday and I really think that with him, Joey Loudmouth Porter and #99 in there, we can put some fear in some offenses around the league.

I expect good things from the Phins this year. GAME ON.

That's a good segway toward your BC Lions.

Sadly, I am not in BC this year. I miss it. I miss my friends there and I miss the BC Lions atmosphere. It was a great thing to eat buttered chicken and drink Molson's and watch the game. I am proud to say I took full advantage of their football culture when I was there. Their football culture is GREAT and I hope I can experience it again soon.

Now, I'm 4,000 miles south and even though Florida is full of Canadians, I have not been able to find the game. They showed CFL games last year on Bright House, but I have not been able to find one this year.

The Lions are 3-5 right now and last in their division. But their season last approximately 4 solar years, so I'm hopeful they can get it together by 2012.

Hey, at least their season aint as long as baseball.

(Figure BC-60: The BC LIONS logo from the 6o's. That's right, folks, the CFL has been around for over 50 years.)

And now it is with a great degree of sadness, I write this next missive.

The Arena Football League has ceased operations. They are no more.

They are gone. Gone-diddly-on.

I feel the loss. I loved Arena Football and I loved the ORLANDO PREDATORS.

Arena games were awesome. Especially when The Preds would play the Tampa Bay Storm. Those games were always entertaining, from the game itself, to the strippers getting arrested taking it off in the endzone, I always had a blast.

Going to Preds games was the best. I went to them for many years and ALWAYS had a tremendous time. I think back on the great memories of me, Cheryl Ann (at the Arenabowl) , The Jimmer, Barbaric Derek... a host of others... going to the games and having so much fun.

The Orlando Predators: R.I.P.

Now, the Preds are no more. It hurts. I loved them.

But I have the memories.

And to quote Bob Segar, those are the memories, that make me a wealthy soul.

To visit the history of the AFL, click here and click here.

The new upstart UFL is starting up in Orlando soon.

The name of the team is The Florida Tuskers.

A tusker is apparently a wild boar that lives in the Everglades.

If it had to be explained to me and I've lived in Florida for 38 years, then there's probably not much future in that team.

I guess I'll mention the two big non-Dolphins stories and share my take:

Brett Farve's unretirement Part 2:

What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Didn't the Dolphins punish him enough in the last game of the season last year?

Plus, he's skipping training camp. There's a good message for the team. This is gonna fall flat on everyone's faces.

This is the year someone's gonna hurt Brett Farve, I dread to say. And if I was a Packer fan, I'd be hoping my team (that will meet Farve twice this year) is the one doing it.

Brett really needs to call it a day, not because he can't play, he needs to go away simply because I'm over him.

Michael Vick a.k.a. Ron Mexico's return to the NFL:

This just makes me sick.

Ron Mexico's return (and anyone who doesn't know the Ron Mexico story click here and scroll down to "early incidents") is something I can't beleive the NFL would do. And yet, Tony Dungy's word holds a lot of weight. That's the only reason Mexico is back: Tony Dungy. He is Vick's new "mentor".

Well, ya know, Vick needs one. And ya know, I really do believe in redemption. I believe in second chances. I saw Vick's interview on 60 minutes (and James Brown did a great job interviewing him, BTW. Way to go, J.B.) and I heard his words. I didn't believe them, but i heard them. he said all the right things.

And I really do believe that people should be allowed to atone. Like I said, I believe in second chances.

But with Michael Vick, there just one thing I can't get past: the cruelty.

I'm sorry, folks. This man is a monster. He's admittedly capable of a degree of meaness and cruelty on a very high level.

And I don't believe for a minute he's sorry about that.

But, the hell with him. Someone will knock him out. So lets end this on a positive note.

THE RAIDERS STILL SUCK.

There, I feel better now.

GAME ON!

Leebo on Leebo

I am a man who doesn't eat all of his fries. Well, rarely.

I am a man who constantly reaches for the impossible, never gets it, and doesn't learn a damn thing from it. And keeps reaching anyway. What a douche.

I'm a man who hates karoke. Any and all karoke.

I'm a man who will act like he cares that someone fell down the stairs. But deep down, after years of watching The 3 Stooges and The Marx Brothers, there will be a large piece of me that still thinks it’s funny.

I'm a man who loves Florida. Not the Mom from "Good Times". I mean the state.

I'm a man who feels, whether good or bad, that he is blessed to have met the people he has met. Most of them, anyway.

I'm a man who doesn't believe Hip-Hop "music" is Evil... because Evil never sounded that bad. And real, true Evil has better things to do than irritate people at intersections.

I'm a man that thinks a bad marketing name for an Alernative Country Music band would be "Constant Negro".... but a good marketing name for an Alternative Country Music band would be "Redneck Nutsack". Hey... it's just marketing.

I'm a man who enjoys a chilled shot of Crown with a cherry from Michelle. And a cherry in the glass is welcomed as well.

I'm a man who thinks Free Comic Book Day should be a National Holiday. There are people who do not agree with me. Many of these people are Yuppies and never agreed with me anyway. Many of them don't even think I'm funny.

I'm a man that has been told, more than once, that I really understand people. Which is funny to me. Because I don't really understand people. At all.

I'm a man who wonders about my future right now. Once I'm comfortable with my life again, I'll be in my bathrobe drinking White Russians. Actually, I did that before.

I'm a guy who's so shlocky, I think The Creed of Doc Savage is cool.

I'm a man who bristles with rage when I hear about anyone hurting animals, yet I truly believe the cats who scratched my car must DIE.

I'm a man who believes that an alternate name for the Led Zeppelin movie "The Song Remains The Same" should be "Let's All Look At Robert Plant's Penis". If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean.

I'm a man that feels he can learn a thing or two from you. Unless you're a dick.

I'm a man ending this post and now to eat a bowl of cereal and watch cartoons.

We deal in lead, friend...

Well, after driving through some of the fiercest thunderstorms I have ever been in, I am back from Miami.

I got in late last night, ate pizza and passed out. Then this morning, I watched THE MAGNIFICENT 7 for the 900th time. In the words of Teddy K, it'll be damn good when I watch it the 901st. What an awesome movie.

I watched SEVEN SAMARAI, the movie the 7 is based on last week. I think it is the only movie I have ever watched with subtitles. Between watching that and the 7, I have had a great cinematic experience. Well done, Leebo. Well done.

Now I go to a play called "My Breakfast With The Ratajeskis".

More later. Toodles.

Do something with your life... don't get him a beer.

Back before I started in the blogosphere, we used to take various pics of Cowboy Troy passed out at various locales.

Think of it as like the Dan Marino principle, except the action figure is more interesting.

Cowboy Troy. On my chair.

It's good to be home. :)

Riding Down Nature's Cleavage

The Leeman Returns.

Got home at 09:30pm after another week in South Florida. Good Lord Allmighty, it's good to be home.

I'm not sure I fit in South Florida. For one thing, I know how to drive. Kinda.

I call this post "Riding Down Nature's Cleavage" because I was on US27 dodging storms and as I rode the highway betwen two fierce storms, the clouds merging between the two storms above me and the highway resembled a huge cleavage.

I'm drinking a beer.

And I'm sleeping in.

More frivolity to follow. Stay tuned as I task and travel myself to the brink of madness. It should be a fun ride for the both of us.

Seacrest out.

Esto es asi

It is what it is.

I have just come form my first week in my new gig in Miami and have survived, despite a suprise or two being thrown my way. I guess that's what it's all about : survival.

My life is really strange. And it's getting stranger.

But, hey... it's a living.

There are people in this life who don't have what I have.

And there are people who have more.

But they don't look as good as me.

And they never will.

So, game on, baby.