THE BIG DAMN PAGE

I did a Big, Damn Tribute Page to one of my favorite things.

Shiny!

Check it out here!

Deviations in the space/time continuum with Mike Guerdon

Earlier today, that wierd sensation you felt was a deviation in the space/time continuum caused by myself and Mike Guerdon.

You see earlier today, Mike Guerdon sent me an email assulting and maliging me. As he's prone to do.

Said email had Mike Guerdon saying hurtful, questionable and deviant things about myself and my character. In other words, the usual.

So I responded in turn, with the picture featured above, and the following response.

I think Mike Guerdon sums up in the picture how I feel about Mike Guerdon.

Leave it to Mike Guerdon to cleverly articulate my feelings about Mike Guerdon.

Mike Guerdon... flipping off... Mike Guerdon.

Thanks, Mike Guerdon.

Yer a gock.

But I did not know what I had done, until I'd done did it.

I had arranged for Mike Guerdon... to flip off Mike Guerdon.

The effect is similar to having matter touch anti-matter, which in large doses, say, with large celestial objects, creates a big, fat boom.

In smaller doses, it just messes with the time/space continuum.

And Mike Guerdon, being a massive celestial object himself, doesn't do anything in small doses.

Fortunately, the rest of the universe doesn't seem to care, so no boom today.

However, if you see dogs and cats living together, well, to quote John Belushi after he smashed the guitar in ANIMAL HOUSE... sorry.

Now that's over, I'm going to see what's on TV tonight.

HUH?

"Mike Guerdon Controls The Universe"? 8pm, NBC?

Huh.

I thought they canceled that show.

AN OPEN POST TO BRUCE NESSLER...

... a.k.a. Nishwash.

I did not have the wrong number. I was calling you.

Yeesh.

Call me!

I fought on the losing side, still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Well, after a week of flurried activity, with interviews and emails galore, this week is DEAD.

I have several coals in the fire, but I have to wait them out. And they go at their pace, not mine.

I've had a lot to think about. Aside from the usual "I hate fucking guys named Gary". Which, by the way, I do.

I can't imagine what I'll do to the next asshole named Gary that enters my life and tries to fuck it up, but I assume you'll be seeing it on the news. I just don't have good luck with people named Gary. FUCK YOU, GARY.

So, I've been trying to get the old resume out there and make things happen. There are fast weeks and slow weeks. This one is like a snail on valuum. It sucks.

I've also been watching a lot of Firefly and Serenity. My favorite things. Yes, I'm a Browncoat. Except I don't own a brown coat. Those cost money.

Ya know, with the ecomony being as it is, you would think that Serenity2 would be a pretty logical thing to do. It didn't cost a lot of money to make (by Hollywood standards) and between the theater gross and the DVD gross, it made money.

Like hoping for one of my employment lifelines to ring true, Ill continue to hope for another BIG DAMN MOVIE.

Hope springs eternal.

We're still flying.

It aint much.

But it's enough.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Happy St. Paddy's Day from The Leeman, everyone!

Except for you guys named "Gary".

I hate you guys named "Gary". Screw you guys.

I just had a shot of Irish whiskey.

Of course, it wasn't Irish until I drank it.

An Irish toast for you all:

Here's to you as good as you are,

Here's to me as bad as I am,

As good as you are,

And as bad as I am,

I'm as good as you are,

As bad as I am.

CHEERS!!

Jon Stewart is THE MAN.

I just watched Jon Stewart's absolute skewering of Jim Cramer on THE DAILY SHOW.

I'm impressed with Jon Stewart. Yet again.

He called Cramer out and all of CNBC. He totally kicked their asses. With the sword of truth.

He was brilliant.

Jon Stewart has done the whole country a service throughout the run of THE DAILY SHOW for calling out politicians in their own lies and busting balls where ballbustings were totally needed.

He uses comedy to do so, and when confronted, never fails to present his view articulately and eloquently, inevitably showing he's a helluva lot smarter than the jackass across the desk from him.

We need more Jon Stewarts. He just f-ing rocks. That's an American, right there.

Watch it here.

Nuff said.

Leebo has seen the massive, blue dong of WATCHMEN!

I have watched the unfilmable WATCHMEN.

It was pretty watchable, until the film burned to death in the middle of the movie.


That's not a review. That's what literally happened.

The film stopped and then burned to a crisp on screen. I haven't seen that since the 80's.


The film stopped, burned to a crisp, and then it took a while to get someone in the projector booth. So, we watched a thin piece of film flap against the lamp, cascaded by a burned outline around the sceen. Finally, someone came in and fixed it. The delay was minimal, yet distracting.


In this age of DVD's and such.... why are we still using actual film at the theater? I'm shocked that our technology still hasn't solved the same problem that theaters have had since their inception. This is a brand new damn theater too.

Wierd.

So, after about 5 minutes, the film was back on and it rocked.

I have to admit, I really liked the film. I was prepared to nay-say it like the geek crowd seems to be doing. But I won't.

It was a worthy effort, I was never bored, the changes they made really didn't bother me too much, and I walked out completely entertained. It was pretty faithful to the subject matter. They did a great job with their almost 3 hour movie adapting a graphic novel that takes 5 hours to read.

It was a helluva movie, I loved it and want to see it again. Jackie Earle Haley absolutely nails it as Roscharch and he's the real reason I want to see it again. No, really. Seeing Malin Ackerman naked has absolutely nothing to do with it.

And speaking of naked, you see Dr. Manhattan's massive blue dong throughout the movie.

Now, I don't care who you are, I don't care what your sexual orientation is (for the record Leebo is mega-straight), but, well......a massive blue dong in a movie is just distracting. Moreso than in the comic. In the comic, its smaller and I can just turn the page. On a huge movie screen, it's just there...dangling over me.

Odd. Slightly unnerving as well.

But despite the impending hoverage of Dr. Manhattan's Long Island on display before me, I still want to see the movie again. And any movie you want to see again is good.

And for the record, I only saw Frank Miller's abortion of THE SPIRIT once.

It truly is one of the greatest comic adaptations to film. I totally recommend it for fans and non-fans of the graphic novel, and fans and non-fans of massive blue dongs as well.

Two thumbs up.

Yes, those are thumbs.

LEEBO'S MUSICOLOGY 101: Phenoms: The Chairman, The King, Some Beatles, God, and how the 1980’s destroyed popular music.

This is a part of the show called Leebo’s Musicology 101. It is meant to share my opinion and love of music with you, and you know who you are, whoever you are. Right now, I am going through a very tough time. Music is helping me cope, with hope. So, I am going to talk a little about it. The opinions expressed here are completely my own and should you disagree or be offended by them, well, kiss my ass, whoever you are. If you don’t like it, bite me.

There are many major figures in the history of popular music. Many can be argued as forerunners for their art. There are many of those.

Yet, only a few of them helped shaped the destiny that became popular music. Only a few were icons. Only a few were Phenoms.

The Phenoms occurred before the 1980’s. Music pretty much died around then. Michael Jackson started the bloodshed and bastardization of music with the release of “Thriller”. It all went totally to shit after that.

A bold statement? Hardly. Consider the Phenoms if you don’t believe me.

Before the 1940’s, there were no Phenoms, as the music business and the technology was in its infancy. They built the industry on blues, country, jazz and swing/big band music, and it was still developing on its own. No one totally stood out. No one changed the world. Yet.

In the 1940’s, one superstar that burst onto the scene. He became the forerunner for screaming girls, massive crowds, major adulation and incredible record sales. He set the bar for what a superstar should be, by becoming, quite simply, the number one attraction in the world, and the forerunner for that era’s current popular music.

His name was Frank Sinatra and he was the first Phenom.

His contribution to music should not be underrated. The Chairman of the Board rode his era’s wave of big-bang, swing, and popular ballads and created a whole new genre of music all into himself. In the 40’s he became music’s first bona-fide mega-freaking-superstar.

For his decades-long career, Frank was one of the great entertainers and singers, whether it was Ring a Ding-Ding swing or aching, heartbreaking ballads In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning. Frank made you believe it was a quarter to three and there was no one in the place except you and he.

Frank was The Man in the 40’s and the music business followed him and evolved.

In the 50’s someone else came along. His name was Elvis Presley and he was the second Phenom.

Elvis was The King. There’s no way I can fully explain on this blog the influence that he had on popular music. I don’t have the time, nor do I want meta carpal. He was, and is, loved by millions. Many people, then and today, dislike him. Many black people felt/feel that Elvis ripped off their music. Many of those same black people turned their backs on blues and embraced hip-hop. Go figure.

But the fact of the matter is, he was the second Phenom. Popular music and culture changed due to his presence.

Elvis Presley was The Man in the 50’s and music business followed him and evolved.

Also, as far as I’m concerned, Elvis was The King, whether you like it or not. Thankyewverymuch.

Then the 60’s rolled around and while Elvis was still around, he left the Phenom building. Other lads had arrived to Phenom status. Let me take you down, because we’re going to strawberry fields.

The Beatles totally redefined popular music. Their innovations, orchestrations, the overdubs…the sheer genius of their music as they evolved from a simple pop band, to a major cultural event was, as achievements go, staggering. No one had ever seen anything like it before or since.

Quite simply, everyone and everything followed them. They affected every aspect of their current culture, or counter-culture, if you will. Then they broke up. Thanks, Yoko.

John, Paul, George and Ringo were The Man in the 60’s, and the music business followed them and evolved.

And they were the last.

Frank. Elvis. The Beatles. The Phenoms. You have not and shall not see their like again.

Then the 70’s happened. There’s no clear Phenom here. No clear forerunner. I’m a Clapton mark, I would love to say he was the next Phenom. And though he always will be a Phenom to me, he wasn’t. Led Zeppelin would be a good argument, but the fact of the matter is, there was no one who really changed the music business. There were big acts, with distinctive sounds, but nothing was like the Phenoms. The closest thing to a Phenom in the 70’s was disco, and the less said about that, the better.

The music business ambled along to the 80’s and started to become more sterile and corporate. “Thriller” came out and became the number one album in the world. And interesting things happened.

There were no phenoms. It became less music, more business.

Souless corporations bought and sold artists and radio stations right and left. They even created artists, “made bands” they were called. They weren’t all bad. I still dig The Monkees. The 60’s Monkees. Not the 80’s New Monkees. Does anyone even remember the New Monkees?

Radio stations began working on “services”, with the record companies paying them to play a certain number of artists from their label per hour at regular intervals. They also began abruptly changing their formats or going out of business all together. I'll always miss you, Zeta 7.

Another interesting thing happened. Radio stations that played albums, meaning different cuts off an album, went out of business. Radio stations that played one song of the album until they burned it into the ground, were the order of the day. Could anyone really say that a track they were playing was "the new cut" from whoever when the damn record had been out fo 7 months? Again, I miss you Zeta 7.

From the 70’s to today, it’s just become more and more corporate and less and less music. Blues music has disappeared. Hip-hop moguls, and they are moguls, are the future of “urban music”.

Rock music today bears little resemblance to its forebearers and if it does, it aint marketable. It’s difficult to find a Rock station that plays older and newer Rock as most stations have separated into “Modern Rock" and “Classic Rock” stations. Whatever happened to just good Rock? I'm capable of hearing Nickleback and Led Zeppelin on the same station without being traumatized. I think. Maybe not. Anymore.

Country Music is as much a mess as Pop music is only because it’s all become watered-down Pop music. If I hear another watered-down Rock song sung by a Country “artist”, I’m gonna puke. The REAL artist who got away with it was Johnny Cash, and guess what? The Country establishment shunned him until he died. Today’s Country music is a joke. Sorry, Clint (my cousin-in-law).

The biggest band in the world is U2, and while I like U2, they aren’t Elvis or Frank, baby. U2 is great, and possibly the closest thing to a Phenom we have, but the business and the culture is essentially the same as when they arrived. And as long as the Corporations who run our planet run things, you’ll get no innovation. Just more of the same.

Plus we get American Idol. And even (shudder) Canadian Idol. And I’m sure the Corporation that has turned music into a glorified talent show is stationed in countries all over the world.

Fiji Islands Idol. Yeesh.

My jaded view? Perhaps.

But in this day and age, with all the bad music, corporate greed, and CONSTANT F-ING COMMERCIALS….well, The Leeman humbly thinks that there’s really only one, true way to get back to the old school magic of the Phenoms.

Getcha a cold shot of Crown. Dim the lights. Listen to Sinatra’s “One for the road”.

That's what I do. At a quarter to three. And there’s no one in the place. Except Frank and me.

And if some Corporate Country fart tries a watered-down remake of that, I’ll truly know that, as a society, we’re all doomed. In fact, it wouldn't suprise me if it's been covered by Rascal Flatts already.

Ring a Ding Ding, baby.