Barack Obama

In seeing the title of this particular post, you might think this is a serious political forum examining the issues that affect the Presidential race and, in turn, affect our lives. I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth.

I have commented about Barack Obama on my Myspace Page in this capacity, but I thought I would go a little further, as I am a new blogger and wish to offend everyone with any social sensibilities right from the get-go.

I’m going to vote for Barack Obama.

Now, I’m hearing that his is a fine vision, I’m hearing that he’s history-making and relevant in regards to change for our country. And I’ll be the first to admit, our country needs change. (When Canadians hate you, you’re doing something wrong. Unless they’re French-Canadians, and then who gives a fat fart what they think anyway?)

But, there’s an aspect to Barack Obama that is indeed history making that no one has dared talk about. It has nothing to do with his color, or his policies, or, well, anything really. But it is the single, most important reason I am voting for him.

And the reason is this: I have taken it as a personal challenge to belch his entire name.

No, I'm serious. It's tough. Try it.

Once you get past that "Barack" part... well it just kinda craps out.

The key to the whole thing is to try to get the “Barrack” part out as softly as possible. Therefore, you can hit the complete home run with the “Obama” part. But it’s difficult, mainly because “Barack” is sooooooooo such a belchable name.

You know I’m right. “Barack” is a noise I’ve made many times before I even knew who the F Barack Obama was. I suspect some of you have too.

So I say to you all, rise up as good, oblivious Americans… and take the Barack Obama challenge. Try to belch his entire name. It’s fun, and socially relevant, in the parlance of out times.

Use beer if you have to. A lot of beer. Practice, practice, practice.

And then vote for him based on the sheer belchability of his name alone.

(For the record, Giuliani also has a very belchable name, but it has to be just the right kind of belch, so he’s no BARRRR-RRACK. Barack’s name works in just about any and all belching situations. Now that’s a candidate for the future.)

You stick with me and you too can become the type of uninformed voter that politicos fear and despise.

And you too will be as American as the NFL, Hulk Hogan and the notion of placing your penis in a warm apple pie.