Political nonsense from the uneducated and semi-drunk voter all politicians fear...

A long while back, when I started this blog thing, I wrote a post about voting for Barack Obama.

My reasons had nothing to do with him as a politician, a leader, a Senator, or whatever. I didn’t know his positions on anything and I didn’t care. My sole purpose for voting for him was, and is now, the same as it was in that post: I thought his name had a belchability quality about it that I found tremendously appealing.

So, after all this time of belching BARACK and the occasional OBAMA (when I can get that part out), I still find my reasoning somewhat accurate.

Belching John McCain’s name is no fun, and Sarah Palin, while you can belch her full name rather quickly, leaves you still with a certain amount of gas left over. I believe the same can be said for her candidacy as well.

There’s more to it now, though. Things are different. Things suck.

Geroge Dubya Bush has all but destroyed this country. And it’s a shame. We used to be pretty cool. Now even Canadians hate us.

Canadians!

Do you know how far you have to push a Canadian to get him that pissed off? You literally have to stab most Canadians in the leg multiple times and set them on fire just to get a rise out of them.

I’m sorry, but anyone who tries to convince me that the Republican Party is the Justice League of Change Agents is full or crap.

I see McCain ads saying “CHANGE IS COMING” and I find myself thinking, Goddamn, I hope so, and I prepare to vote for Obama. I’ll vote for anyone who’s not part of the clusterfuck party that has destroyed our credibility, our economy, our civil and foreign defense capability and basically everything we used to stand for that was any good.

Don’t get me wrong, in the words of the great George Carlin, I love this country and all the liberties we used to have…. But I see a lot of 400,000 dollar houses with MCCAIN/PALIN signs out front. I see lower to middle class houses with the OBAMA/BIDEN signs. I wonder which of the two have suffered more… oh yeah, my parents lost $40,000 dollars in their 401K when the stock market crashed. On who's watch did that happen?

I see in John McCain a washed up hack who’s made a bargeload of money in the last 8 years off of Dubya’s failed policies. And he looks into the camera and smiles and calls himself a maverick. Maverick, my ass. You’re 72 years old. You're one of the criminals who has sold out this country and put it in a stranglehold with your Fatcat Lobbyist-induced policies.

I’m in awe of the bullshit when McCain calls people “Washigton fatcats” What the hell is he? He’s so obviously full of it that it's laugh-inducing. Who does he think he’s fooling? Has the Alzheimer’s finally kicked in? If it has, it would still make him smarter than Dubya.

He makes me sick. If I hear him use the phrase “my friends” anymore I’m going to do the Techno-color Yawn. I’m not John McCains friend. John McCain, I respect you as a man and for your service to this country, when you and your party weren’t too busy killing it. I’m talking about the military service/torture part, I respect you for that. Now, FUCK YOU.

And if he wins and dies in office (and he will die. Soon.) Sarah Palin becomes President. She who can rip the heart from a moose, show the moose it’s still-beating heart, and eat the heart in front of the moose before the moose dies.

I stole that joke from Jon Stewart. Proudly. Anyhoo…

…there’s something shady about Sarah Palin too. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I do know that I would like to be in a threesome with her and Tina Fey. This alone makes her completely unqualified to be President of the United States. And it also disqualifies me and Tina Fey as well.

I’m not even really a fan of Joe Biden. Weak belchability in his name. Weak names equal weak candidates. Plus, he’s an idiot.

But I’m voting for Obama. We need anything other than the 8 years of what we have had. I hope we don’t regret it. But after watching the news, it’s hard to think that we will.

And besides his superior belchability among the candidates, there’s another reason I am voting for him as well.

I get tremendously offended when the Republicans look at us, as voters, in the eye and try to tell us everything’s gonna be ok with them at the helm.

The ones who flew the goddamn plane into the goddamn mountain are trying to tell me they’re the best pilots on Earth. And with a twinkle in their eye and a big shit-eating grin… they expect me to buy into it.

And they expect you to buy into to it too, “my friends”.

Fuck them. I’m voting for massive change.

And the belch thing.

C'mon.

I'm The Leeman.