Ladies and gentlemen (not that anyone is reading this), I give you the latest piece of jackass from the team I dearly love, The Miami Dolphins. Read on and be mentally staggered by a degree of retardation not seen since the current Bush administration:
Dolphins McCown injures finger in odd accident
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA (TICKER) —An already-muddled quarterback situation for the Miami Dolphins became a bit murkier, according to a published report on Tuesday.
Josh McCown, the Dolphins’ most-experienced quarterback heading into training camp, injured his right index finger two weeks ago chopping wood at his home in Jacksonville, Texas, according to the Palm Beach Post. He reportedly was holding a piece of firewood while his younger brother—Tampa Bay backup quarterback Luke McCown - cut Josh’s finger instead of the wood.
The report stated the elder McCown needed six stitches.
The injury comes at a bad time as he has only seven days to recover before the start of training camp next Wednesday. This adds more intrigue to the Dolphins’ three-way quarterback competition that includes second-year pro John Beck and rookie Chad Henne.
A six-year veteran, the 29-year-old Josh McCown has a decided edge in NFL experience over his competition with 31 starts. In that time, he has thrown for 35 touchdowns and 40 interceptions while playing for three teams.
Beck, on the other hand, had one touchdown pass and three interceptions in five games as a rookie last season.
Now, The Leeman says this: this is unbelievable. This is Darwin Award material. Dogs sniffing glue aren't as dumb as this.
How dumb do you have to be, to let someone HOLD THE LOG... while you are chopping wood? Who came up with this plan... Super Dave Osbourne?
Let's take the two biggest idiots I know: Me and Mike Guerdon. And let's place us both in this situation:
How dumb do you have to be, to let someone HOLD THE LOG... while you are chopping wood? Who came up with this plan... Super Dave Osbourne?
Let's take the two biggest idiots I know: Me and Mike Guerdon. And let's place us both in this situation:
ME: Hey, Mike... hold that log for me while I chop it with this axe.
MIKE: Fuck you, man.
Now, let's reverse the roles and see what happens.
MIKE: Hey, Leebo... hold that log for me while I chop it with this axe.
LEEBO: Fuck you, man.
Yup. Same result. Now let's take two prominent Dolphins greats and see what happens.
LARRY CSONKA: Hey Dan, hold that log for me while I chop it with this axe.
DAN MARINO: Fuck you, Larry.
Do you see what happens, Larry?
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY?
If I were Bill Parcells, I would get rid of Josh McCown immediately. And if I were Jon Gruden, I would do the same with his equally moronic, inbred brother. Their parents had to have been related. This is beyond stupid. This is.... dare I say it? TRUCK DRIVER STUPID!
This is why these two McCown jabronis will never be quality NFL material: BECAUSE ONE HOLDS THE LOG WHILE THE OTHER CHOPS.
What else do they do? Shoot apples off each others heads with arrows?
God, I miss Dan Marino.
This is why these two McCown jabronis will never be quality NFL material: BECAUSE ONE HOLDS THE LOG WHILE THE OTHER CHOPS.
What else do they do? Shoot apples off each others heads with arrows?
God, I miss Dan Marino.
2 comments:
You honestly expect better? I don't! Buy a fan belt for your car and read the label. You will find this warning. TURN OFF ENGINE! Read the label on Preperation H. It says, NOT TO BE TAKEN ORALLY! Remember the idiot who after buying a new RV and driving it home set the cruise control and went into the back to make lunch? I still have problems believing this dancing pig (explain later) won his lawsuit against the RV manufacturer! These days I just write this behavior off to natural selection and go have a cold drink! Remember why we have all of these warnings, BECAUSE SOMETIME, SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY IT!
Later?
You dropped the F bomb.
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