THE PARTY AVENGER busts it up the middle and smacktalks his way Thru THE GRUDIRON!!!!!!

Hello, programs. Party Avenger here.

Where am I? Oh yeah. Here.

I've been away.

See, Jackass Leebo is spending more time in South Florida. And, since I can't shake the bastard, so am I.

I like it.

There are a lot of women and there is a lot of stuff goin' down. My kinda place.

But I'm not here to talk about that.

I'm here to address the always-controversial Grudiron.

Here is how the synopsis of the Grudiron appears on CBSsportsline.com:

Welcome to Grud vs. Leebo!

It's a simple game played by simpletons. Two seemingly harmless guys pick the winners of the NFL games every week of the whole dang NFL season.

Only one man wins.

And He is exalted on high, as a man's man...men will worship Him, women will throw their panties. And He will be fed, a glorious feast, served by glorious females, in a most glorious establishment. Or maybe Hooters.

So, let the games begin!

I like Hooters. The food sucks.

Ya see, Leebo and his pal, Grudly Mankinko annualy hold a football picking contest.

Which is infinitely better than other picking contests they could possibly hold.

They disgust me.

This contest is called The Grudiron, a little play-on-words by The Grud.

But it should be called The Leeboiron as Leebo kicks his ass every single damn year.

Except for one year. Hey, everyone has a off-year. Me and Leebo are actually kinda having one right now. Except on The Grudiron.

The best year was when they were tied and Mike had the Radiers and Leebo had whatever-other-team-was-kicking-the-Raiders-asses-that-day. It was that game that decided the Grudiron winner.

I think it was the Chargers.

Leebo called Grud, who was listening to the last seconds of the game on Sirius radio. Leebo had it on the TV.

Last seconds of the game... Raiders driving to win... suddenly.... INTERCEPTION by JaMarcus Russell!

That was priceless.

Well, Leebo is up 4 games on Grud already in Week 5. And they won't be much different this week.

The idiots picked all the same teams to win.

Idiots.

Well, Mike Guerdon, since The Leeman is too much of a classy professional to admit this, let me tell ya something for him:

You will NEVER, EVER win the conveted Grudiron belt. Leebo shall kick your ass for all Eternity. Small children will be educated by your example of how not to be a complete human failure on The Grudiron. Songs will be sung of Leebo's Grudiron domination in the future, and history will judge you as the consumate and ultimate loser on The Grudiron. And you will accept the judgement of history.

Besdies, I'm fond of the belt. It spins. And Leebo lets me wear it to JC Penney when I go there to buy Dockers.

When I buy Dockers.

That's more than my take. That's reality.

Grudly Mandinko, I repsect you as the only other man to party as much as The Party Avenger. You are a valued ally and and formidable opponent.

But yer a Grudiron Gock.

That's the bottom line because The Avenger said so.

I would like a sandwich now.