THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Hey, I have a blog!

I have not been on in quite some time.  Lot going on, been traveling, been trying to keep the ship in the air.

Going to write on here soon.  In the meantime, go see THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.

Don't let some lunatic putz with orange hair keep you from the theater.

Go see it,  It's excellent.

Bravo, Christopher Nolan.  Bravo.

A random shot of a spaceship. THE Spaceship.

We're bringing back RANDOM SHOTS OF SPACESHIPS.

We don't understand. Are we.... geeks?

Yes, we are.

Click on it to embiggen.

I say, hey. man ok, nice shot.

Good shot, man.

Live long and prosper.

Funk is on a roll....

Howdy, Blogoverse! Long time no see.

Haven’t been on THE LEEBO SHOW in a while. Been busy, had some stuff bothering me.

Wasn’t really in the writing mood. However, part of getting my head back in the game is writing, so here I am.

Writing.

How is it so far?

Yeah, good thing nobody is actually reading this.

So, had some stuff going on, and now I am in a place… that’s completely drama-free.

Nothing major is going on. All systems are functioning nominally. I’m good.

I like it like that.

Oh, there’s stuff I’m still thinking about that I can’t escape. I drive around in a truck all day for a living. I can’t escape, as my dear Alexis once put it, my big ol’ head.

I wonder about some folk. I worry about some folk. There’s some other folk I need to rectify some things with. I got some folk I don’t even know what the hell is going on in their brains. These are all women, natch.

People making wierd choices. People shutting me out. People wanting me in. People.

There’s all sorts of people that I care about that I’m just kind of floating around their periphery. I should address some things, but I am putting it off. Because, right now, no drama is going on and I am REALLY enjoying that.

It has nothing to do with anybody. It has with to do with me enjoying myself.

I only want to see a handful ( a very SMALL) handful of people right now. I am avoiding others, not because I’m being a hermit, not because I’m a dick, not because I have heat with anyone…but because…. I’m just really, really enjoying my own company.

I can count on me.

My Facebook status right now is this:

I am not anybody's answer.

Of that, I'm convinced.

And I am. I really am.
And you what? That’s ok.
I am no longer looking to make a connection. With anybody. I don’t think such a thing is real anymore anyway.

I have a good job. I can pay the bills. My job is going well. I love the Company I work for. I see a great future.

My Dad’s healthy.

Nobody’s busting my balls. If I wanna drink beer and watch Star Trek all night, nobody gives a shit. Come to think of it, nobody gave a shit anyway. But I digress.

I’m not wrapped up in anybody’s bullshit. That’s kind of why I haven’t been on the blog. Because, nothing is happening.
And I love it.

Sure, I’m come back from the periphery at some point. But’s it’s nice here.

Star Trek doesn’t talk back.

Believe, Daydreamer.

Part of my childhood died today.

Davy Jones of The Monkees died of a heart attack at the too-young age of 66.

In Hollywood, FL, no less.

Never ran into him. As much as me and Mike Guerdon tear up that town, too.

So long, Davy, thanks for helping this little kid laugh and love music.

I'm going to hoist a few to Davy tonight.

I love The Monkees. I am not ashamed of this.

Part of my childhood died today.

Sucks.

DAVY JONES 1945-2012

The Party Avenger returns! No, really.

Hi. Avenger here.

I've returned.

No really, it says so in the headline.

You didn't read it?

No prob, I'll wait.

See? It says I've returned.

You jackass.

I'm posting on the blog for Leebo because Leebo doesn't give a shit.

I haven't seen him like this in quite a while. Not since my drunk Luche Libre days. Not that I remember those. Heh. Good times. I think.

Dunno what's up with him. Leebo's doing good, the new job is good.

Yet, he's kinda out there.

I know, that's not exactly a profound observation.

He's says he's "disenchanted with the franchise".

And doesn't mean the Dolphins.

I mean, he does, but I think he's talking about something else.

Here's the wierd part. There's no beer in the fridge.

I know.

I've been in Leebo's physche for quite a while.

I've NEVER seen the fridge without beer.

Never.

Never, ever, ever.

WTF?

I hope he gets back to writing soon. And, I hope he buys some beer.

It's just been awkward.

The Dude needs to Abide.

Oat sodas would assist that endeavor.

You would think the man who retained the coveted GrudIron belt would be happier.

Grud and Jimmer, eat it, bitches.

So here we are. It's your move, Leebo. Do something.

And do it with beer.

You're boring without it.

And I'm thirsty.

OK, the first post of 2012 aint cheery...

This picture is pretty much how I feel.

Things are fine on the surface. Job is good. Life is good.

Underneath the surface, I rage.

From an emotional and mental standpoint, I am beat up, tired. And ready to fight some more.

People have disappointed me. Again.

And again.

I'll never understand them.

There will never be justice as long as people are concerned.

Because people are fucking stupid.

I'm tired or being nice. I'm tired of being good.

Being good is hard. Some days I hate it.

It really has not paid off.

Hell, I'll work my way out of this funk and be my awesome self again soon.

Until then, fuck you.

Because you, my friend, are a member of the human race.

And you, my friend, are a fucking idiot.

Odds are, anyway.

Happy New Year!

It's 2011, New Years Eve. Been another up and down year for Leebo.

Leebo has been somewhat traumatized by the last few years.

The last few years... well, while there has been good times... have kinda sucked.

Leebo needs a good 2012.

Leebo is a man barely alive.

We can rebuild him.

We can make him better than he was.

Better. Stronger. Faster.

Well, maybe not faster, but definitely better and stronger.

See the Twitter log to the right for the quote from the Dalai Lama.

He's quite right.

2011, yer outta here.

2012, just bring it.

Happy New Year, to all you crazy humans.

Humany Wumany.

Boots to asses in 2012, folks.

Damn straight.

Bring it.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas, The Doctor is in.

Merry Christmas to all.

At least the Dolphins won't be blowing a 17 point lead today.

And there's new DOCTOR WHO tonight.

Brilliant.

Cheers!

It's Christmas Eve and the Dolphins still suck

Blowing a 17-0 halftime lead to the Patriots. Are you fucking kidding me?

Fuck Tood Bowles, get that stupid jabroni lame duck mutherfucker off my sideline.

Fuck him, fuck everthing he represents and fuck that empty fucking look on his fucking stupid face.

This post has been brought to you by the word "fuck".

Fuck: it's what I wish I was doing right now.

It's Christmas Eve.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Christmas Blues

Hi.

Haven't posted anything lately. Lots has happened.

Got a new job with what potentially can be the greatest company I've ever worked for. Looks like the ship is still flying. The potential is huge, the challenges great. I plan to take full advantage and hope that finally, a gig will work out for Leebo.

Tony Sporano got fired as the coach of the Miami Dolphins. They kept Ireland. We'll see. I'm beyond skeptical.

And Christmas is coming.

I should be on top of the world and very much in the Christmas spirit, but I'm really not.

Not that I'm humbugging it, quite the opposite, I'm greatful to be employed and rockin' in the holiday.

But I'm getting over a chest cold I've had for 2 damn weeks, which affected my desire and energy to put up a tree. First time in years I haven't put one up. That sucks. That usually goes a long way toward my getting into the Christmas Spirit.

And it's warm out, another 72 degree Christmas this year. Some folk think that's great, but I find it lacking to increase what little Holiday spirit I have. I want snow. A Christmas with snow would be different. And cool.

I should be on top of the world, but quite frankly, I just don't care this year. I'm not sure why. I assure you, dear reader (assuming anyone is reading this), I am open to any Christmas magic that may be out there. I just don't think there's any out there. At least, not for me.

But I am not disparaging of anyone else soaking in the holiday. I applaud you. Maybe I can join you. Who knows?

Until then, I abide, and wait for another crummy year to be over.

2012, I am ready. Bring it. I'm tired, but bring it.

I hope for a good one. Because the last few have sucked.

Peace out.

This is a good day.

Good news down the pike confirmed.

The Dolphins actually won a game.

Great night out with My Waldo Girls at Boofest on Saturday. WHAT A GOOD TIME.

My birthday is tomorrow and I think I just got the greatest present I could ask for.

Good times. Faith manages.

A little luck doesn't hurt either.

And I don't mean Andrew Luck. Fuck Andrew Luck.

I feel like over-hugging.

Halloween, by the numbers

My Halloween was as follows:

- Spent daylight hours with pretty girl. Got nowhere. Typical.

- Went home at 5pm, watched the classic Hammer version of THE MUMMY with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing on TCM.

- Around 7pm, had dinner of chicken, potatoes , corn and lots of chocolate.

- After dinner, watched THE CROW with Brandon Lee. Awesome movie, hadn’t watched it in years.

- During the movie, had my only Trick or Treaters, 2 sets of 4 kids.

(3-4 year old sees I’m not scary from the street, sees his siblings get candy, as they are leaving he runs through my open door, into my house, stops in my living room, surveys his surroundings, sees bowl of candy, grabs a handful, flies through front door, runs away. Concerned and somewhat relieved parent appears at door and profusely apologizes while chastising child. Funny.)

- Around 9pm, flipped for a time back and forth from the NFL to WWE. The Muppets co-hosted RAW. Saw Kermit the Frog say “Woo, Woo, Woo”.

- Around 10pm, watched THE SIMPSONS TREEHOUSE OF TERROR and IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN that I had DVRed.

- Around 11pm, went to Steak N’ Shake for milkshake. Had a craving.

- Consumed milkshake, surfed Web.

- Midnight, went to bed.

The stats:

Candy given out by me: Assorted Reeses and Milky Ways

Number of shots of rum drank Halloween night: 4

Number of beers drank: 0

Number of Trick or Treaters at my house: 8

Average number of Trick or Treaters, per year, over last 10 years: 2

Description of Costumes: 1 Snow White, 6 Princesses and one thieving Cat-kid.

Not a bad Halloween.

The Closson/Carlin Connection

I just shared some communication (that’s a big word for me) on Twitter with Kelly Carlin. For those who don’t know (and I didn’t, until tonight) she is George Carlin’s daughter. The mandatory promo for her is as follows, you can check out her website here and her podcast here.

I am looking forward to hearing her podcasts, I am linking them to my blog without hearing them, so hopefully they don’t suck. Even if they did, my blog audience couldn’t fill a bathroom of a single-wide anyway, so no harm done to either me or her. I strongly suspect I won’t be disappointed, if she’s 1/8th as funny as her father she’ll be 10 times funnier than the rest of us. Gonna be fun.

George Carlin was a great inspiration to me. I mentioned that on THE LEEBO SHOW when he passed. His greatest gift to me was to make my fragile eggshell mind QUESTION EVERYTHING. People, rules, signs, the media, my parents, your parents, other people’s parents, clergymen, military men, my Uncle Dave, your Uncle Dave…. question things. Everything.

If it wasn’t for him I might be lobotomized sheep. Instead I’m 175 lbs of I-can-think-for-myself-talkinghead-so-bring-on-yer-candy-ass. Yes, 175 lbs. I’m slightly overweight. I’m working on it.

George Carlin once chewed out my mother.

She was working for GTE when we were in California and she cut off his phone. I’m not sure of the circumstances around it, but he called GTE Customer Service and got my Mom… and proceeded to chew her out. To George’s credit, he cooled down and called back and apologized to Ma and they worked everything out.

My Mom used to tell me that story whenever we saw George on HBO or when I was listening to his albums on my Princess Leia hairdo-looking mega 70’s headphones. I listened to George, Elvis, The Beatles, The Stones, Zeppelin and Clapton albums on those headphones back in the day a lot. Oh, The Monkees too. I’m not ashamed. I’m a believer.

And yes, I said “albums”. Look it up on Wikipedia. They were glorious things.

I shared this memory on Twitter with Kelly. It got me thinking about other memories I had about George and my parents. Mostly watching him on TV and them bitching… I never could believe my parents, two of the most conservative people you ever could meet, still watched George Carlin with me. They claimed to not like him, I knew better, after all, he used words like “fuck, “goddamn”, “cunt” and at least seven others. To this day, I still don’t know what some of them mean. But coming from George, they sounded cool. Also, looking back, I can’t believe my parents could afford HBO. I can’t.

I have one more early George/Mom memory I want to share with her, I thought this would be a better forum than Twitter as I can’t share it in 120 characters or less. And make it funny, anyway.

My Mom took away my TOLEDO WINDOW BOX album just before I turned 18.

Mainly because she heard it. It blared from my room with the utmost comic authority; because I forgot to put on my giant headphones (they clamped my skull).

Also, because a week before, she had found weed in my room.

I refer to this discovery in my room as THE GREAT CATACYLSM, as a week earlier, she had found the little gold box. In it, the offending items: a pack of rolling papers, a small roach clip and a small amount of weed. I couldn’t have gotten in more trouble if contained the Queen’s vagina. (Me having any vagina was also illegal in my house back then.)

When they found it, I freaked, but I did the right thing. I blamed it all on my friend Frank, and claimed vehemently that the stash was his. I don’t think my folks bought my story. They knew me and Frank. They figured probably only half of it was his.

See, my mother actually once watched REEFER MADNESS, saw the scene where the guy goes into the closet, takes one hit off a joint and proceeds to laugh his ass off and kill everybody….and believed it.

So, she’s hears George (while she’s strategically placed) through my bedroom door talking casually about drugs….and she barges in my room and demands to know what I’m listening to. I hand over the album cover, altering between confusion, amusement and shame. In other words, I was 17. I altered between those a lot back then.

Of course, once she saw the offending cover, the connection was obvious.

For the Uninformed and Great Unwashed who are not familiar with the brilliant piece of comic genius that is this album, on it, George talks about drugs. A lot. And on the cover, he is wearing a shirt with the devil weed blatantly taunting all American and possibly some Canadian Mothers on the front.

As you might gather, this leads to some spirited conversation between my Mom and myself. Not a conversation so much, but more like two blathering idiots screeching. One: a beloved authority figure through all my life, and me: not so much.

And I will NEVER forget… NEVER, EVER, EVER forget… this particular verbal exchange between us. And to this day, it makes me smile. I wasn’t smiling then, but now, yeah. It went like this:

MOM: You will never listen to this record in my house again, this explains a lot!


ME: Huh? What are you talking about?


MOM: This is why we found…(she can’t bring herself to say it) what we FOUND! In your room last week!


ME: That has nothing to do with me listening to a record! You act like… like George Carlin sold me weed!!


MOM: Well…. HOW DO I KNOW HE DIDN’T?????


I remember just standing there dumbfounded. She was staring right through me. She knew… God love her… she knew, she had just said something completely and totally ridiculous. But she kept her straight, totally pissed-off MOM face on. And I didn’t DARE laugh.

Never mind that George Carlin and I didn’t know each other.

Never mind that George Carlin was a big star in California and I was a dumb kid in Florida.

Never mind that we were thousands of miles apart.

Never mind it was only about 2 joints worth of weed and George would have made about 20 cents on the deal (that’s 70’s currency, today, with inflation, he may have made a thousand bucks).

Never mind that George probably had better weed than me.

I didn’t DARE laugh.

Long story short, I never saw that album again. But I still had CLASS CLOWN, AM/FM, OCCUPATION: FOOLE and I continued to accumulate. I just remembered to listen to them with headphones.

George Carlin evolved and perfected his craft as a comedian and great social commentator. My Mom did the same thing, though to less acclaim.

They made me the man I am today: an unemployed blogger writing embarrassing details about his strange childhood to complete strangers while drinking vodka shots late on a Thursday worknight.

I love ya, Mom. And I love ya, George. And I’m looking forward to being entertained by and lovin’ you too, Kell.

Excelsior.

Phinished

Unbelievable.

The Dolphins led 15-0 with less than 7 1/2 minutes in the 4th quarter.

They let Tebow, who pretty much sucked the whole game, come back, throw the game into overtime and win 18-15. We made him the second coming of Johnny f-in' U.

There's so much to say. None of it good.

This Dolphin franchise needs to be completely dismantled.

I'm still too pissed to type. Losing like that. Wow.

I'm not one who's really into canning folk during the season... but Sporano, Ireland, all of them just need to go. Now.

I actually like Tony Sporano. But I'm tired of his field-goal fistpumps. And it just isn't working out, for him or us.

Let them all go.

Promise what's left of your fanbase CHANGE.

God.

Because....It's just.... beyond bad.

It's just beyond bad.

We're phinished.

Tim Tebow will Phinish our season

The Phins are 0-5 and this debacle needs to be over.

Today, the Sporano/Ireland era should be over, thanks to Tim Tebow getting his first NFL start.

I assume he will do well. All Tebow does is win. All the Dolphins do is lose. Pretty simple, if you think about it.

Ironic it will be Tebow that does us in. Bitterly. Ironic.

I'll be commenting on this and other things tonight. I haven't been on THE LEEBO SHOW for a month. Time to drink some beer, watch the Phins stink the joint up and talk about stuff that pisses me off.

This game will be just one of those things.

PHUCKING PHINS

Figure Phin-1: This man watches a team with no chemistry. At all. And he's the Coach.

I am so angry after watching another display of mediocre football by my beloved Dolphins that I can't even waste the energy to write about it.

So, this article by Dan LeBatard really covers is nicely. He nails it. He also wrote it before we lost to the Browns today. He still nailed it.

Miami is 0-3. They suck from Mangement on down.

The future is bleak. Beyond bleak.

Phucking Phins.

Any positive is welcome

Yeah, I know I haven't been on the blog. I plan on getting back in the groove.

Been Dog Days. Been down. Been verrrry Un-Dude.

I'm hoping they will be over soon. I'm working on it.

I like this song. It's a positive.

It makes me feel like the Dog Days will be over. Hence the name. Listen to it with an unpredujiced ear and listen to it LOUD.

I dig the Kabuki aspect of the video, some people may not. If you can find it live on The Internets, it kicks ass.

I could really use any positives right now. I don't have many and I'm not used to that. I'm The Leeman. I hate living in a Charisma Vaccuum.

Because I'm The Leeman.

And I need the Dog Days to be over. Soon.

I was right....

... Hitler was bad.

But The Doctor... fucking brilliant.

LET'S KILL HITLER!

At freaking last! Tonight, we have all-new DOCTOR WHO! WHO-HOO!

Tonight, the Dolphins play the Bucs in Tampa too!

But since the Bucs can't sell out their stadium, I'll be following it on the Internet and watching some cheeky, British Sci-Fi goodness. And. Loving. It.

And the episode is called LET'S KILL HITLER, an action which I can totally throw my support behind.

Hitler is a bad man. I gots to have me some Hitler killing.

I gots to have me some more Alex Kingston/River Song too. Love her.

So, beer, pizza, football, WHO. I'm in. I'm totally in.

Let's put our problems on the shelf for a night, shall we?

Jammy-dodger, anyone?

Jammy-dodgers are cool.

Leebo Goes Universal

Many thanks to The Barabarian and The Gypsy for the fun trek to Universal Studios yesterday.

It was a good romp and it eased my worried mind.

It was a positive day and seems to have created a positive vibe. Let's ride that vibe shall we?

And hopefully, like the Rock and Roll Roller Coaster, it won't get stuck mid-way through the ride.

Good vibes this week. Boots to asses. Just bring it.