The scene: Five (5) people are having dinner in a Canadian restaurant, myself being one of them.
Two (2) of them, Americans, one a staunch Republican, the other, a staunch Democrat, proceed to get into a political debate in regards to the American Presidential race, all the while completely boring the other three (3).
Let’s listen in, shall we?
A word of caution, this may be graphic, and also, this may be embellished to the point where none of this actually took place at all.
DEMOCRAT: I’m saying we need change in Washington. Real change. With McCain, we get more of the same.
REPUBLICAN: OK, so what’s wrong with that?
DEMOCRAT: Four (4) more years of the same? A dying economy? Our reputation in the world totally damaged?
REPUBLICAN: I’m not saying things aren’t tough, but we’re Americans. We can do anything. We can withstand anything.
DEMOCRAT: That’s just the kind of thinking that has gotten us where we are today.
REPUBLICAN: That’s right, the greatest country in the world.
DEMOCRAT: Oh, please. What do you think, Leebo?
LEEBO: Well, guys, if you really want my opinion, I hate the fact that we live in a somewhat Totalitarian country where we only have two legitimate choices. Either we go your way (DEMOCRAT) and we have a strong economy and weak foreign policy, or we go your way (REPUBLICAN) and we have a weak economy and strong foreign policy. It’s been that way for 40 years. I wish we had another party, an innovative party, that could bring both together, because the two-party system we have is not working. They are both so pigeon-holed in their philosophies that any sort of innovation isn’t welcome within their respective parties, therefore the possibly of real, legitimate change, is remote. It’s ALL just going to be more of the same, no matter who gets in.
They both stare at me blank-eyed.
LEEBO: Plus, I would vote for Jesse Ventura, because I don’t think we have enough professional wrestlers in our political process.
They stare at me blank-eyed again.
DEMOCRAT: OK, so we're agreed, Obama is the man who can turn this country around and clean up George Bush’s mess.
REPUBLICAN: I disagree.
And the REPUBLICAN proceeds to stab the DEMOCRAT in the eyes with a pair of chopsticks.
The other two people besides me sitting at the table, one British, one Indo-Canadian, marvel at what complete asses we Americans can truly be. I'm pretty impressed myself, and I already knew.
The lessons learned and the questions asked are these:
One, never bring deadly chopsticks to any political debate. It can get messy.
And two, what kind of weird Canadian restaurant has chopsticks anyway?
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