An Impressive Body Count

Man, The Party Avenger just doesn't like it here.

I'm not overly fond of it right now either. Il Vendicatore Del Partito is right. If I were in Willmington, it would be better. Farther, but better.

There's just acres and acres of nothing in this part of the universe. You drive around looping curves and expect to see something around the corner but it's just more nothing.

I'm on Day 19 and we're getting more and more stressed. I'm getting up at 5am and getting back around 8-9pm. Tis the season.

We did get to go to Wilmington Sunday and had a steak at a little place off the Cape Fear river. It was an excellent steak. I don't know what I liked more about it, the fact that it was the first real steak I'd had in over 3 weeks or the fact that I hadn't killed it with my car.

I'm not kidding. I wish I were. My roadkill tally is currently 2 birds, a squirrel and an angry hornet.

The one bird literally flew into my windshield while I was going 70 MPH down S.R. 210. It literally hit the windshield and slid off. The bitch of it is.... he could have flown away. He flew around in circles in front of me before I hit him. It was crazy. He just flew right into me.

The other bird I found in the grill of the PT. I never knew I hit it. The Mexicans I work with wanted to take bets as to when it would fall out of the grill. I assume that is a form of sport around here.

I told them I was offended and appauled by such a display, and then dropped 5 bucks to take some of that action. I don't know what pisses me off more, the fact that I lost or the fact that if I had cheated I could have won. But I didn't want to touch the dead bird. Sue me, I'm squemish.

The squirrel was another critter that apparently did not want to live anymore in North Carolina.

He ran out and just flung himself under my wheel. I felt really bad about that. Because I don't like to hurt things, but also mainly because it's giving me ideas.

The angry hornet was fun.

Me and my Mexican bodyguard, Jose. we were flying down 210 at around 60MPH with the windows open, when over my shoulder I heard something hit. It sounded like someone threw a rock at my car, that's how hard it hit. I freaked and looked down and there's a pissed off and possibly concussed hornet stinging the living shizzit out of my iz-arm.

Of course, I handled the situation as calmly and cooly as possible.

I screamed like a girl and flung the damn insect down on the floorboard, where I began to Stone-Cold-Steve-Austin-Stomp the living hell out of it while racing around curves going 6o MPH. Jose thought it was very funny until we almost hit the tree.

It stung me but didn't get the stinger in me. It only hurt for about a half hour, then went away.

The little bastard paid the ultimate price for screwing with The Leeman and the PT.

And to quote Stone Cold, anyone who's ready to leave southeastern North Carolina gimme a "hell yeah".

HELL, YEAH.