I surrender

Attention, Engineers and others like you:

I give up. You win.

My resistance is futile, I shall assimilate myself into your collective. I renounce all that I know and pledge to you the following:

I shall not think... and when I am in danger of thinking I shall call at least 4 people to keep it from escalating.

I shall not act when I can over-analyze every micro-fiber of every problem, delaying even the simplest of action or reaction to the point that it is critical that it should have been acted on yesterday.

I shall not say "idea" when I mean "concept". Because "concept" is YOUR word.

I shall constantly analyze and re-analyze the minute and the meaningless... and I shall create grand discussions about it and its perceived repercussions amongst the disinterested masses. Repercussions, people.

I shall not celebrate my success or the success of others. I shall treat any success as a lucky happenstance considering how inferior we are as a cohesive unit. And I shall worry about those that enjoy each others company "after hours" to the point where we must all work to eliminate "after hours".

I shall not laugh unless I am extremely funny and even then, I will be the judge of that.

I shall drink warm soda and eat cheesy poofs, but I shall indulge in them only on holidays. I shall also work to eliminate holidays.

I shall feel responsible. Even if it was beyond my control. Especially if it was beyond my control. And I will exact repercussions on those I deem responsible besides myself, whether they have responsibility in the matter or not. Said repercussions will not reach me, but others. Repercussions, people.

I shall not trust and no matter how lofty of a position I have, I shall dissect with excrutiating detail any and all records or expenses of those beneath my position. I shall render those who should be monitoring that activity for me useless but I shall pay their salaries anyway.

I shall panic when discretion and dialogue are necessary. I shall guage each problem by the amount of panic I am able to lend to the situation.

I shall berate and belittle when diplomacy is needed to make someone better. I shall also be threatened by people trying to be better. After all, they should have been up to my lofty standards in the first place.

You win. I surrender.

Just kidding.

Bad news, creativity and imagination still live and still thrive. Just not in your world.

And you make me wonder.

And hunger.

For cheezy poofs.

Conrats to my friend, Jeremy Gillam, State Representative for Arkansas District 49!!

I have personally thanked future Governor of Arkansas, my friend Jeremy Gillam, for his successful 66% majority vote, trouncing his oppontent into obscurity for his bid to become State Representative for District 49 in Arkansas.

Watch The Leeman's congratulations through the wonder of pixelated technology!

Conrgratulations, Jeremy!

http://growing49.com/

More Random Shots of Spaceships!

I certainly have to include early in our random shots of spaceships collection the Firefly-class vessel, SERENITY.

From the late and much lamented Joss Whedon TV series FIREFLY, which, after being cancelled, inspired The Big Damn Movie, SERENITY.

Click on it to embiggen it. To paraphrase Mal, this here's a spectacle worthy or some consideration.

Raise a glass of Mudder's Milk to her. She's shiny.

God help me.....

.... I've finally gone and done it.

I'm on Twitter.

I'm a Twitterer.

It's just one more way to follow my hilarious hijinx.

I'm not sure that's how you spell "hijinx", but you get the picture.

I'm on Twitter as TheBigLeeboski.

Natch.

it's just one more way to belong to the machine.

Greetings, programs.

http://twitter.com/TheBigLeeboski

Frank Frazetta, R.I.P.

Just learned Frank Frazetta passed away.

Very sad, a true visonary, his works will live on.

To see some of his fine prints, click here.

To check out his story, click here.

I remember litstening to a lot of Molly Hatchet growing up and marveling at his work.

An unparralelled artist, to be sure.

Rest in peace, Mr. Frazetta.

Random Shots of Spaceships!!!!!

Welcome to a new, exciting chapter of our little part of Cyberville. Random shots of spaceships.

Basically.... its random shots of spaceships. Yes, I'm a geek.

And what better spaceship to start with than the most famous one of all....The Starship Enterprise?

Live long and perspire.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

You are on my mind and in my heart today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, wherever you are.

I love you.

G is for Gainesville!

Figure G-1 - He's just looking for some shoes, or maybe a nice belt.

Howdy,

Well, The Leeman is currently immersed in the culture that is Gainesville, FL a.k.a. the home of your FLORIDA GATORS. I am stationed at the farm here doing the blueberry wrangling gimmick...

Got to have a good time here when I first got here, now it’s a lot of work.

Some people get home from work and watch the six o’clock news.

I come home from work and watch Saturday Night Live.

Figure B-1 - the source of my satisfying my powerful need to eat.

I’m still managing to have a good time though. Today I went to the Zucchini Festival in Windsor and I’m happy to say it was everything a forgettable festival should be. The only thing missing was beer and me.... 5 seconds after I realized there was no beer.

The Zucchini Festival is home to collapsible hats, the Sons of the Confederacy, the “Bubble Sweater” which was such a hideous piece of clothing that I couldn’t even take a picture of it. I’m serious. It was the Medusa of clothing, I thought if I took a picture of it my good taste would turn to stone.

Figure G-2 - Never let anyone tell you that rural Florida is not part of the South.

I wanted to do a post on Cinco De Mayo, but I had to work late. Still, I was able to put down a few Shiner Bachs for the blessed event.

(The following should be read with Homer Simpson’s voice in your head)

"What better way to celebrate the greatest Mexican holiday than to drink Texas beer from the state full of people that hate Mexicans..? "

I am enjoying my time here. Gainesville is a fun town.

My visits here were usually limited to going to Ben Hill Griffith, watching the game, getting hammered and maybe or maybe not going to the Café Risque.

Now, I’ve gotten I got to know my way around the city a little better. And found a few good watering holes and a few good places to eat.

Figure.... wow, what a figure, G-3 - A good place to eat.


Good night.... and good fight.

The greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself chained to Fate...

I visit my blog again after a long abscence.
Not much can be blamed for this.

Just Lee.

My head's in a wierd place.
Nothing's the same anymore.

I travel soon.
More challenges. I welcome them.
I take it day by day. I laugh more. I make others laugh more.

That's good.

The greatest of teachers won't hestiate to leave you there by yourself chained to Fate...

Nothing's the same anymore.

You think I'm wrong?

Conan's gonna be on TBS and Leno still sucks.

Interludes and Examinations

Hi.

Been a while. Again. Sorry. I'm in a place I have never been. I am still dealing with the loss of my Mom. It hurts worse now. I dunno why. But I know she would want me to keep going on and having fun.

So... the post after the worst post I've ever written will be a hodge-podge piece of jackass. I'm just trying to get back in the game, so I beg your indulgence.

So, last night, I went and saw Eric Clapton again, my second EC concert in 3 nights. I am now a 12 time Clapton veteran. Last night was the Orlando gig with C-lish and her friend, Reverend Lovejoy. It was outstanding. I sat back and ate 9 dollar ice cream and loved it.

We had good seats and it was a great gig.

Thursday night, Grudly Mandinko and I went to the Bank Atlantic Center in Sunrise where EC was playing, went to the box office asking if there were tickets..... and we wound up on the 2nd row.

I can't even begin to describe this. My hero, Eric Clapton... a scant 25 yards from me playing astonishing solos... I was completely alive. With what I've been through recently, it felt good.

The fat blob in the middle is me with Eric.

I needed this weekend. Seeing EC with two of my greatest friends.... well, as corny as it sounds... it gave me a dose of LIFE again. And it was something I needed.

Thanks Mike and Cheryl. I love you both and you were the perfect folk to lead me through this great musical journey.

I feel life again.

There was one point during a solo on "Old Love", where EC just hit some unreal riffs, and when he finished....I thought to myself...."damn".

And Mike Guerdon was standing behind me and afterwards, I heard him say ...."damn".

I will never forget that as long as I live.

Later, I decided that Mike Guerdon's son, Mikey, will be the new Eric Clapton, and if he fails, we shall beat him.

I'm kidding of course. In this pic, I told him to look like a rock star and this was the best he could do.

We both look constipated, which could put us on a Judas Priest album, at the very least.

I love this picture. Only in South Florida do you see a $60,000 Lexus as a food delivery vehicle.

I love this picture too.

This is my friend Jaime's parents, the pic taken somewhere in Chile in the 50's. I see this pic all the time right now... and I love it.

Maybe it's the way they are looking at each other... I dunno. I just think this pic is one of the coolest pictures I've ever seen.

I have 20 dollars to anyone who can tell me what bar I took this picture at and when, and if, I even liked the goddamn beer.

One of the things I want to do is reconnect with my fam. This is my cousin Marilyn. I want to see everyone again. My Mom would have liked that.

Me and Marilyn and Aunt Inge at Nick's in Hollywood. Nick's continues to be a big part of my life.

I'm working on being funny again. I promise. It takes time. All I can do is keep swingin'.

Peace.

Betty Closson, my Mom: 1942-2010

BETTY ALICE LASHBROOK-CLOSSON, 67 Business Analyst/TrainerLAKELAND - Mrs. Betty Alice Lashbrook-Closson of Lakeland, FL passed away on 01/24/10 of complications from lung cancer at her home in Lakeland. She was 67 years old.

She was born in Elwood, Madison Co., IN, on February 14, 1942. Betty's career started as a soda clerk in her parent's restaurant. After marrying in 1961, the family moved to CA and she began a Service Representative for Pacific Telephone. In 1967 she went to work for General Telephone of CA. Betty and family moved to Lakeland from Los Angeles, CA in 1971. Betty worked at Peoples Bank -Lakeland until she could hire with GTE-FL and GTED-Tampa until retiring in 1995. After retiring she worked at Protel and Lockheed Martin in Lakeland and UIT-Tampa.

She is survived by her husband Lee R. Closson and her son Lee W. Closson and her brothers Kenneth Max Lashbrook, Jr. of Kingwood, TX, Robert E. Lashbrook of Ruckersville, VA, and David L. Lashbrook of Panama City, FL and Richard L. Lashbrook of Groton, CT.

Funeral services will be held on Friday January 29, 2010 at 1 P.M. at Heath Funeral Chapel.

Donations may be made to the SPCA 5850 Brannen Road South Lakeland, Fl 33813.

Condolences may be sent to the family atheathfuneralchapel.com.

***********************************************************

It's been almost a month since Mom passed away. I've dreaded writing this post, but can put it off no longer.

I don't really need to write a huge eulogy for Mom. She was my Mom. She was the greatest Mom that ever lived. No offense to you Moms out there. If you're a Mom, you understand that last statement. And you know Mom did her job well. Because I say she was the greatest and she damn well was.

My Mom was one of the kindest people and most noble of souls that ever lived. I loved and still love her. I miss her.

My Mom fought a good fight. The fight is over now and I, and my father, have to follow her lead. We will.

Instead of flowers, my Mom requested that donations be made through the local Lakeland SPCA. While Dad and I were standing at what would be her eventual final resting place, I got a email from one of my greatest of all friends, the one and only Cheryl.

I want to share it, because it meant so much to me.

Leebo,

Know that your Mother's wish is my command. As an animal lover as well, it was my pleasure to make a donation in her memory to the SPCA of Lakeland to the following, which I thought was a fitting way to honor her wishes:

Guardian Angel Fund - The SPCA staff does their best to estimate the costs of running a clinic, but sometimes emergencies do arise. You can help provide life-saving medical treatments to animals in need by contributing to our Guardian Angel Fund. This fund has allowed for healthier and fuller lives for many orphaned animals in the past. It has even ensured a life for those that may have had a bleaker outcome.

When you give, think of past recipients like Bradley or Henry. Bradley was a perky little chihuahua surrendered with a spinal injury rendering his rear legs useless. The funds allowed us to provide him with a set of wheels to keep him going. Henry was surrendered with a severe skin infection that the SPCA treated with the Guardian Angel funds. He is now happy and healthy!

As your Mother once found an orphaned animal in front of the Goodwill and took him in, she is now part of the Guardian Angel fund to help more orphaned animals. When you hear or read a story regarding an orphaned animal that was rescued and is receiving medical care via your SPCA, think of her and smile, knowing she was the Guardian Angel that helped make it happen.

Nothin but love - C

Thank you, C. You have no idea, and never will, how much this means to me. Your kindness reminds me very much of my Mom. I wish you both had met.

And Mom did rescue an orphaned animal tied to a tree at the Goodwill. The Goodwill people would not let her take the dog, they had to, legally, call the SPCA and have him picked up.

And my Mom visited the SPCA every day for 2 weeks seeing if someone claimed him. No one did, so she did.

Pappy's picture is below. He, like me, misses his Mom. He, like me, is going to take care of Dad.

And while there are no positives, at least for me, there is good amidst the gloom.

We've raised over $2000 for the Lakeland SPCA in Mom's name. There will be a special brick on their walkway with Mom's name on it in the near future. Mom would have liked this very much.

To make a donation in Betty Alice Closson's name you need only click here.

And...I am reuniting with my family.

I have joined the Myfamily website with the Lashbrook clan. I have reconnected on Facebook with some of my cousins I used to hang with back in the day. I have reconnected with my Drunken Uncles (oh, I saw it the night before the service and was an active participant as well) and the Wonderful Aunts that tolerate them (and me, now).

I haven't met or talked to all the fam yet. But it's a work in progress. To say my Mom would have loved that I'm reconnecting with them is a galactic understatement. There's more of this to come. It's important.

And to Debbie and Natalie... you both have been very instrumental and important, not only in keeping this reconnection dream alive, but keeping me going. Thank you for your support and your words. There has been healing in the things you have said to me. I'm glad we are talking again and I love you both right now beyond my meager literary skills allow me to portray here.

And everyone... and I do mean EVERYONE, who has been supportive of me and my father during this time... thank you. Everything is very much appreciated. There are many people who have given me their take on all this. Whether I agreed with them or not, I smiled politely because all of them meant well.

And so... we go on.

Mom certainly would not have wanted me or Dad to stop living.

I've called my recent state "walking through pudding". And I am right now. Things are different. Some things totally suck. Some things need some changes. I'm one of those things.

I know that things will work out, eventually. If you keep going, keep fairly positive, are kind to folks and work hard, good things will happen.

I will make it work, because I have a good foundation in regards to survival, which I give my parents every credit.

Through it all...I'm going to keep walking through that pudding. And I'm going to keep swinging.

That's been our family's way.

And that was my Mom's way.

BETTY CLOSSON

Mother, Friend, Fighter, Inspiration

1942 -2010

I love you, Mom.

2010 brought it.

I have never faced anything like I facing right now.

Something terrible is about to happen. Something terrible is happening.

My father and I are steeled and ready for it, as much as we can be.

The next post on this blog will be hard.

2010 has officially started out in the worst possible way. Everything is about to change.

Again.

No, not again.

Not like this.

OK. Let's talk 2010.

Well, I can't talk 2010 yet. I have no idea what the F is happening.

My Mom is very sick. Everything has changed.

I am faced with impossible circumstances.

How does one face impossible circumstances?

With Guile.

Good riddance 2009.

2010.... let's go.

Game on.

JUST BRING IT.

The Last Dan Marino Collection for 2009

Chronicling the end of Dan's fun in 2009, at the Florida/Georgia game in Jacksonville at Altell Stadium.

In the jaws of the Jaguar statue outside Altell - GREAT PIC TAMMY K.

It's a shoot - EVERY HOT CHICK wants their picture taken with Dan.

Here's a night pic of Dan at the Dolphins/Colts Monday Night home opener, 2009.

Dan is looking forward to 2010.

More 2009 - The KISS gig

More random shots of 2009.

Here's me and Grudly Mandinko and Dicrin at the KISS gig in Sunrise, FL.

And then we can say Goodbye 2009.

Because 2009 has pretty much sucked.

More to come.

He's a House-Husband.

He left the umbrella in the bushes before we went in.... and it was there when we left.

Shout it... shout it.... shout it out loud.

More random shots of 2009.

And then we can say Goodbye 2009.

Because 2009 has pretty much sucked.

More to come.

Leebo on Gillam Ridge in Arkansas, it's 110 degrees F.

Leebs in Little Rock, Arkansas

@ Gilliam Farms, some of the greatest folk I ever met.