The Dude Abides

Figure BL-2 - The Dude by Leebo

Figure BL-1: Not on the rug, man.

One great thing to come out of Arkansas... I found The Dude inaction figure.

I love it.

In the parlance of our times.

And that rug really ties the room together, does it not?

THE DAN MARINO COLLECTION 2009

More of the greatest quarterback to ever play the game visiting places he is either too rich or busy to be caught dead in.

Dan on the North Carolina/South Carolina state line at South of the Border

Dan at the House of Blues in Orlando, FL

Dan pickin' a guy and letting it fly in Judsonia, Arkansas

Dan behind Lem's house in White Lake, North Carolina


Dan on Gillam Ridge, Gillam Farms, Arkansas


Dan in Wilmington, North Carolina

Dan at Slice Of Life pizzaria, Wilmington, NC

Dan with fat blackberries at Gillam Farms, Arkansas

Dan at my favorite pub in Wilmington, North Carolina

Dan at the River Market, Little Rock, Arkansas

Dan at Matt's pad, Black River, North Carolina

Dan with non-Hispanic harvesters at Gillam Farms, Arkansas

Dan stands at Highway 13, named after him of course, near Judsonia, Arkansas

Dan at Big Sky Farms, White Lake, North Carolina

Arkansas Matters... or, Bury My Heart At Wounded Lee

Figure AR-1 - Searcy, AR... Either this Arby's is really, really good... or really, really bad...

Leebo's returns. Been a while.

I am back in Florida after whirlwind tours of North Carolina and Arkansas. My new employer gave me time off to recharge, which is nice, considering I have worked about 3 months in a row.

Its been a strange 3 months. I'm working again and glad to be so. There is still a newness and completely different culture and way or doing things than I am still struggling to comprehend. I report to Miami again soon and will only be on the blog sparingly as I have to get set up. My life is really strange.

In 2009 I have lost my job, lost my f-ing ladyfriend, struggled to survive, gotten another job, and spent two unbelievably great tours with great people. I've learned through the struggle, a little about faith and a lot about people. I daresay I could be on my way to being a lot more pessimistic, but I'm choosing not to be. That's kinda where that faith part comes in.

Figure AR-2 - Leebo in Little Rock, AR. They have a pagoda. And not much else.

So to my newfound friends in NC and Arkansas. I salute and thank you. Due to your kindness, insight and ability to laugh and make me laugh, I am close to becoming my irreverent self again.

I am blessed with the opportunity to make these trips and hang with these folk. Big Sky Farms and Gillam Farms are the best.

I begged Lem to let me build a website for his NC blueberry farm. You can check out awesome Arkansas blackberry growers Gillam Farms at http://www.gillamfarms.com/. These people are awesome.

Figure NC-1 - I'm back for my third go-around with the USS North Carolina.

I share what what was written on a small piece of paper and given to me by Lem..... friend, farmer, good American, and march-to-the-beat-of-a-different-drummer.

"CHARACTER IS...the perfectly disciplined will, and you (LEE) are a man of character. (Your) greatest glory was not in never falling, but in rising when (you) fell. --- Vince Lombardi"

Not sure what it means but it made me feel like a million bucks.

Figure AR-3 - This is what passes for cheap labor in Arkansas

So, I'm going to let some fun fly before I report back to work. Why not?

It could be worse. I could be advertising in Arkansas.

Figure AR-4 - This is how they advertise in Arkansas....

STAR TREK lives!

I know I said I wouldn't be on here for a while.

But I just had to say.... The new Star Trek movie really kicks ass.

Live long and prosper.

Peace out.

Signs and Portents

I don't think I'll be on the blog for a while.

Or Myspace. Or Facebook.

I think I'm done with most everything on all fronts for a while.

See, here's the deal: In retrospect, I've managed to fuck up just about everything in 2009.

And I think I'm done with that, too.

I am going to focus my energy on a new start now.

Specifically, I'm going to focus on trying not to fuck that new start up like I've fucked everthing else up this year.

To those of you I love, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I don't like hurting people.

To those of you I didn't hurt, but got hurt anyway, I see your reflection and you look a lot like me. You handsome devil.

To those of you with little to no sense of humor in regard to me, I'm still sorry I offended you. I didn't mean to. It was just humor. You are taking me wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too seriously. I'm sorry you don't get it or me.

To those of you still part of "Leebo Nation", you've never taken me too seriously. Thanks. I'll talk to you soon.

To ALL of you, I wish you all you want, for all your days.

I now take a small bow and humbly exit the stage.

Goodnight and good luck.

Back in Imperial Polk County

I am back, 250 miles from Miami, and I now bask in the cool amber of a Dos Equis in Imperial Polk County.

Why is it called "Imperial" Polk County, you ask?

Well, the answer can be found on The Taxman's website - feel free to scroll yer mouse right here. Also, feel free to notice that they give the matter a real positive politcal spin and make no absolutely no mention of the Klu Klux Klan. Kayfabe, man, kayfabe.

I got to see my Brother From Another Mother and part-time Celestial Object Mike "Balls" Guerdon on my trip.

We exchanged Christmas presents. It's fucking April. Kayfabe, man, kayfabe.

DISCLAIMER: The photo above of Gock Savage was not taken on this trip and actually may not have ever actually happened.

It was a good trip. The potential employer is a class act with good processes and good folk. It had a positive vibe. I need all of those I can get right now.

We shall see.

Day by day, brothers and sisters, day by day.

Tough times don't last, tough people do. Vince MacMahon said that.

Come to think of it, I think he also said "Kayfabe, man, kayfabe".

And this post has now come full circle. Good night and good luck.

Miami

Well, things are starting to get a little wierd.

I'm heading down to Miami tomorrow to meet with a potential employer. It's a great opportunity. However, I would have to move from Tampa Bay to South Florida at some point.

So.... I'm wierded out. I've lived in Tampa Bay for 37 years.

I'll be staying down at the end of Walnut Street at the infamous Lucky Number Room 7, with its glorious ocean view.

As many times as I have visited infamous gock Mike Guerdon down there, the prospect of living there has never really occured to me. South Florida is a wayyyyyyy different animal than Central Florida, with pros and cons like anywhere else. It's not home for me. That much I know.

However, I will be close to the beach.

But the prospect of leaving really has me freaked.

But I have to survive.

The Leeman will survive. No power in The 'Verse can stop me.

Especially guys named "Gary".

Your 2009 Miami Dolphins schedule

The NFL has released the 2009 schedule for your AFC East Champion Miami Dolphins.

Preseason

Sun 9/13 at Atlanta, 1:00 pm
Mon 9/21 Indianapolis, 8:30 pm
Sun 9/27 at San Diego, 4:15 pm
Sun 10/4 Buffalo, 4:05 pm

Regular season

Mon 10/12 NY Jets, 8:30 pm

bye

Sun 10/25 New Orleans, 4:15 pm
Sun 11/1 at NY Jets, 1:00 pm
Sun 11/8 at New England, 1:00 pm
Sun 11/15 Tampa Bay, 1:00 pm
Thu 11/19 at Carolina, 8:20 pm
Sun 11/29 at Buffalo, 1:00 pm
Sun 12/6 New England, 8:20 pm
Sun 12/13 at Jacksonville, 1:00 pm
Sun 12/20 at Tennessee, 1:00 pm
Sun 12/27 Houston, 1:00 pm
Sun 1/3 Pittsburgh, 1:00 pm

Interesting schedule, of course we have the usual AFC East suspects. This year we host the NFC South, and I'm eyeing that Bucs game in Miami as being the MAIN game I want to go to.

We also play on Monday Night Football for the first time in ages against the bastard Jets, and a Sunday pre-sason game against Indy where Payton Manning should play for at least a down. Maybe.

That Pittsburgh season ender could be extremely important for both teams.

The tuna and Coach Sporano really have us on the upswing, their second year will be let everyone know if the dolphins are for real. Personally, I think they are. If they continue to build, and they keep that swagger I saw last year, this could be a really great season.

And in the words of The Dude, I'll be there, man.

GO DOLPHINS!

LEEBO's MUSICOLOGY 101: The Legend of ZETA 7

This is a part of the show called Leebo’s Musicology 101. It is meant to share my opinion and love of music with you, and you know who you are, whoever you are. Right now, I am going through a very tough time. Music is helping me cope, with hope. So, I am going to talk a little about it. The opinions expressed here are completely my own and should you disagree or be offended by them, well, kiss my ass, whoever you are. If you don’t like it, bite me.

In an age where radio stations pretty much suck for air nationwide, there was one shining beacon that long ago fizzled out. Not in the heart and mind of The Leeman, though.

ZETA 7.

ZETA 7 was, simply, the single greatest radio station in the history of radio. Because I say so.

ZETA 7, or WORJ-FM, 107.7 on your FM dial, eminated out of Mt. Dora/Orlando... and they had one HUGE advantage over all of the radio competition of the day.

They cared about the music.

Zeta played "album rock", and they really did. They weren't like other stations who took one single song from an album and beat it into the ground, stomp a mudhole in it and walk it dry. You could actually hear different cuts from the album at any given time.

And they were albums. Frequent were the apologies for a skip or a scratch on the record. We were cool with it. We played the crap out of our albums too. ZETA 7 was one of us.

The DJs were great. Most of the time, they were stoned. You could tell. We were stoned too. ZETA 7 was one of us.

I remember one time listening to ZETA 7 and they were playing Jimi Hendrix's version of "The Star Spangled Banner". Midway through, the DJ stopped it and claimed that someone had called the station and demanded that they stop playing it immediately because it was "unpatriotic".

The DJ then went on a huge rant about the person who said that was a complete moron. He then played Jimi Hendrix's "The Star Spangler Banner", like, 52 times in a row. Classic. We loved it. Screw that guy. ZETA's one of us.

ZETA 7 was there through two of the saddest days of my musical life. The day John Lennon died and the day ZETA 7 died.

I listened to ZETA 7 all night when Lennon died. They had incredible coverage, laced with moving tributes. I'll never forget that night.

The night ZETA 7 left the airwaves was a terrible night as well. This is from Central Florida Radio.com:

At 10 PM on Friday, February 19,1981 "Zeta 7" changed from it's rock roots for easy listening. The disc jockeys cried, and loyal listeners turned their Zeta 7 license plates upside down in protest. That was the day WORJ became WJYO for the "Joy of Orlando". WORJ would move from rock to the sounds of Barbara Streisand, Neil Diamond, etc.

On his last morning show Thom Robinson asked listeners to memorialize "Zeta7" by turning their license plates upside down on their cars. Program director, David Sousa, recalls "Zeta 7"'s last hours. "It was probably the most terrible day of my life. That was my radio station ...my flesh and blood. It was my child and it had to be shot. We had one bad rating book and management pulled the plug on "Zeta 7".

The last song they played was Lynyrd Skynrd's "Freebird". And then it was gone. And it's been gone ever since.

I still have my ZETA 7 tag. It hangs in reverance, (upside down, of course) in The McFly Daddy Cool Room. I miss the days of ZETA 7, and the commercial posted above that I found on Youtube really brought the memories back and made me smile.

ZETA 7.

Man.

ZETA Godamn 7.

I miss you, ZETA 7.

And I raise my glass to you.

After all, you were one of us.

Time for some Leeweisers

Things are great.

Lots of positives.

Yeah.

April Fool.

THE BIG DAMN PAGE

I did a Big, Damn Tribute Page to one of my favorite things.

Shiny!

Check it out here!

Deviations in the space/time continuum with Mike Guerdon

Earlier today, that wierd sensation you felt was a deviation in the space/time continuum caused by myself and Mike Guerdon.

You see earlier today, Mike Guerdon sent me an email assulting and maliging me. As he's prone to do.

Said email had Mike Guerdon saying hurtful, questionable and deviant things about myself and my character. In other words, the usual.

So I responded in turn, with the picture featured above, and the following response.

I think Mike Guerdon sums up in the picture how I feel about Mike Guerdon.

Leave it to Mike Guerdon to cleverly articulate my feelings about Mike Guerdon.

Mike Guerdon... flipping off... Mike Guerdon.

Thanks, Mike Guerdon.

Yer a gock.

But I did not know what I had done, until I'd done did it.

I had arranged for Mike Guerdon... to flip off Mike Guerdon.

The effect is similar to having matter touch anti-matter, which in large doses, say, with large celestial objects, creates a big, fat boom.

In smaller doses, it just messes with the time/space continuum.

And Mike Guerdon, being a massive celestial object himself, doesn't do anything in small doses.

Fortunately, the rest of the universe doesn't seem to care, so no boom today.

However, if you see dogs and cats living together, well, to quote John Belushi after he smashed the guitar in ANIMAL HOUSE... sorry.

Now that's over, I'm going to see what's on TV tonight.

HUH?

"Mike Guerdon Controls The Universe"? 8pm, NBC?

Huh.

I thought they canceled that show.

AN OPEN POST TO BRUCE NESSLER...

... a.k.a. Nishwash.

I did not have the wrong number. I was calling you.

Yeesh.

Call me!

I fought on the losing side, still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Well, after a week of flurried activity, with interviews and emails galore, this week is DEAD.

I have several coals in the fire, but I have to wait them out. And they go at their pace, not mine.

I've had a lot to think about. Aside from the usual "I hate fucking guys named Gary". Which, by the way, I do.

I can't imagine what I'll do to the next asshole named Gary that enters my life and tries to fuck it up, but I assume you'll be seeing it on the news. I just don't have good luck with people named Gary. FUCK YOU, GARY.

So, I've been trying to get the old resume out there and make things happen. There are fast weeks and slow weeks. This one is like a snail on valuum. It sucks.

I've also been watching a lot of Firefly and Serenity. My favorite things. Yes, I'm a Browncoat. Except I don't own a brown coat. Those cost money.

Ya know, with the ecomony being as it is, you would think that Serenity2 would be a pretty logical thing to do. It didn't cost a lot of money to make (by Hollywood standards) and between the theater gross and the DVD gross, it made money.

Like hoping for one of my employment lifelines to ring true, Ill continue to hope for another BIG DAMN MOVIE.

Hope springs eternal.

We're still flying.

It aint much.

But it's enough.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Happy St. Paddy's Day from The Leeman, everyone!

Except for you guys named "Gary".

I hate you guys named "Gary". Screw you guys.

I just had a shot of Irish whiskey.

Of course, it wasn't Irish until I drank it.

An Irish toast for you all:

Here's to you as good as you are,

Here's to me as bad as I am,

As good as you are,

And as bad as I am,

I'm as good as you are,

As bad as I am.

CHEERS!!

Jon Stewart is THE MAN.

I just watched Jon Stewart's absolute skewering of Jim Cramer on THE DAILY SHOW.

I'm impressed with Jon Stewart. Yet again.

He called Cramer out and all of CNBC. He totally kicked their asses. With the sword of truth.

He was brilliant.

Jon Stewart has done the whole country a service throughout the run of THE DAILY SHOW for calling out politicians in their own lies and busting balls where ballbustings were totally needed.

He uses comedy to do so, and when confronted, never fails to present his view articulately and eloquently, inevitably showing he's a helluva lot smarter than the jackass across the desk from him.

We need more Jon Stewarts. He just f-ing rocks. That's an American, right there.

Watch it here.

Nuff said.

Leebo has seen the massive, blue dong of WATCHMEN!

I have watched the unfilmable WATCHMEN.

It was pretty watchable, until the film burned to death in the middle of the movie.


That's not a review. That's what literally happened.

The film stopped and then burned to a crisp on screen. I haven't seen that since the 80's.


The film stopped, burned to a crisp, and then it took a while to get someone in the projector booth. So, we watched a thin piece of film flap against the lamp, cascaded by a burned outline around the sceen. Finally, someone came in and fixed it. The delay was minimal, yet distracting.


In this age of DVD's and such.... why are we still using actual film at the theater? I'm shocked that our technology still hasn't solved the same problem that theaters have had since their inception. This is a brand new damn theater too.

Wierd.

So, after about 5 minutes, the film was back on and it rocked.

I have to admit, I really liked the film. I was prepared to nay-say it like the geek crowd seems to be doing. But I won't.

It was a worthy effort, I was never bored, the changes they made really didn't bother me too much, and I walked out completely entertained. It was pretty faithful to the subject matter. They did a great job with their almost 3 hour movie adapting a graphic novel that takes 5 hours to read.

It was a helluva movie, I loved it and want to see it again. Jackie Earle Haley absolutely nails it as Roscharch and he's the real reason I want to see it again. No, really. Seeing Malin Ackerman naked has absolutely nothing to do with it.

And speaking of naked, you see Dr. Manhattan's massive blue dong throughout the movie.

Now, I don't care who you are, I don't care what your sexual orientation is (for the record Leebo is mega-straight), but, well......a massive blue dong in a movie is just distracting. Moreso than in the comic. In the comic, its smaller and I can just turn the page. On a huge movie screen, it's just there...dangling over me.

Odd. Slightly unnerving as well.

But despite the impending hoverage of Dr. Manhattan's Long Island on display before me, I still want to see the movie again. And any movie you want to see again is good.

And for the record, I only saw Frank Miller's abortion of THE SPIRIT once.

It truly is one of the greatest comic adaptations to film. I totally recommend it for fans and non-fans of the graphic novel, and fans and non-fans of massive blue dongs as well.

Two thumbs up.

Yes, those are thumbs.

LEEBO'S MUSICOLOGY 101: Phenoms: The Chairman, The King, Some Beatles, God, and how the 1980’s destroyed popular music.

This is a part of the show called Leebo’s Musicology 101. It is meant to share my opinion and love of music with you, and you know who you are, whoever you are. Right now, I am going through a very tough time. Music is helping me cope, with hope. So, I am going to talk a little about it. The opinions expressed here are completely my own and should you disagree or be offended by them, well, kiss my ass, whoever you are. If you don’t like it, bite me.

There are many major figures in the history of popular music. Many can be argued as forerunners for their art. There are many of those.

Yet, only a few of them helped shaped the destiny that became popular music. Only a few were icons. Only a few were Phenoms.

The Phenoms occurred before the 1980’s. Music pretty much died around then. Michael Jackson started the bloodshed and bastardization of music with the release of “Thriller”. It all went totally to shit after that.

A bold statement? Hardly. Consider the Phenoms if you don’t believe me.

Before the 1940’s, there were no Phenoms, as the music business and the technology was in its infancy. They built the industry on blues, country, jazz and swing/big band music, and it was still developing on its own. No one totally stood out. No one changed the world. Yet.

In the 1940’s, one superstar that burst onto the scene. He became the forerunner for screaming girls, massive crowds, major adulation and incredible record sales. He set the bar for what a superstar should be, by becoming, quite simply, the number one attraction in the world, and the forerunner for that era’s current popular music.

His name was Frank Sinatra and he was the first Phenom.

His contribution to music should not be underrated. The Chairman of the Board rode his era’s wave of big-bang, swing, and popular ballads and created a whole new genre of music all into himself. In the 40’s he became music’s first bona-fide mega-freaking-superstar.

For his decades-long career, Frank was one of the great entertainers and singers, whether it was Ring a Ding-Ding swing or aching, heartbreaking ballads In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning. Frank made you believe it was a quarter to three and there was no one in the place except you and he.

Frank was The Man in the 40’s and the music business followed him and evolved.

In the 50’s someone else came along. His name was Elvis Presley and he was the second Phenom.

Elvis was The King. There’s no way I can fully explain on this blog the influence that he had on popular music. I don’t have the time, nor do I want meta carpal. He was, and is, loved by millions. Many people, then and today, dislike him. Many black people felt/feel that Elvis ripped off their music. Many of those same black people turned their backs on blues and embraced hip-hop. Go figure.

But the fact of the matter is, he was the second Phenom. Popular music and culture changed due to his presence.

Elvis Presley was The Man in the 50’s and music business followed him and evolved.

Also, as far as I’m concerned, Elvis was The King, whether you like it or not. Thankyewverymuch.

Then the 60’s rolled around and while Elvis was still around, he left the Phenom building. Other lads had arrived to Phenom status. Let me take you down, because we’re going to strawberry fields.

The Beatles totally redefined popular music. Their innovations, orchestrations, the overdubs…the sheer genius of their music as they evolved from a simple pop band, to a major cultural event was, as achievements go, staggering. No one had ever seen anything like it before or since.

Quite simply, everyone and everything followed them. They affected every aspect of their current culture, or counter-culture, if you will. Then they broke up. Thanks, Yoko.

John, Paul, George and Ringo were The Man in the 60’s, and the music business followed them and evolved.

And they were the last.

Frank. Elvis. The Beatles. The Phenoms. You have not and shall not see their like again.

Then the 70’s happened. There’s no clear Phenom here. No clear forerunner. I’m a Clapton mark, I would love to say he was the next Phenom. And though he always will be a Phenom to me, he wasn’t. Led Zeppelin would be a good argument, but the fact of the matter is, there was no one who really changed the music business. There were big acts, with distinctive sounds, but nothing was like the Phenoms. The closest thing to a Phenom in the 70’s was disco, and the less said about that, the better.

The music business ambled along to the 80’s and started to become more sterile and corporate. “Thriller” came out and became the number one album in the world. And interesting things happened.

There were no phenoms. It became less music, more business.

Souless corporations bought and sold artists and radio stations right and left. They even created artists, “made bands” they were called. They weren’t all bad. I still dig The Monkees. The 60’s Monkees. Not the 80’s New Monkees. Does anyone even remember the New Monkees?

Radio stations began working on “services”, with the record companies paying them to play a certain number of artists from their label per hour at regular intervals. They also began abruptly changing their formats or going out of business all together. I'll always miss you, Zeta 7.

Another interesting thing happened. Radio stations that played albums, meaning different cuts off an album, went out of business. Radio stations that played one song of the album until they burned it into the ground, were the order of the day. Could anyone really say that a track they were playing was "the new cut" from whoever when the damn record had been out fo 7 months? Again, I miss you Zeta 7.

From the 70’s to today, it’s just become more and more corporate and less and less music. Blues music has disappeared. Hip-hop moguls, and they are moguls, are the future of “urban music”.

Rock music today bears little resemblance to its forebearers and if it does, it aint marketable. It’s difficult to find a Rock station that plays older and newer Rock as most stations have separated into “Modern Rock" and “Classic Rock” stations. Whatever happened to just good Rock? I'm capable of hearing Nickleback and Led Zeppelin on the same station without being traumatized. I think. Maybe not. Anymore.

Country Music is as much a mess as Pop music is only because it’s all become watered-down Pop music. If I hear another watered-down Rock song sung by a Country “artist”, I’m gonna puke. The REAL artist who got away with it was Johnny Cash, and guess what? The Country establishment shunned him until he died. Today’s Country music is a joke. Sorry, Clint (my cousin-in-law).

The biggest band in the world is U2, and while I like U2, they aren’t Elvis or Frank, baby. U2 is great, and possibly the closest thing to a Phenom we have, but the business and the culture is essentially the same as when they arrived. And as long as the Corporations who run our planet run things, you’ll get no innovation. Just more of the same.

Plus we get American Idol. And even (shudder) Canadian Idol. And I’m sure the Corporation that has turned music into a glorified talent show is stationed in countries all over the world.

Fiji Islands Idol. Yeesh.

My jaded view? Perhaps.

But in this day and age, with all the bad music, corporate greed, and CONSTANT F-ING COMMERCIALS….well, The Leeman humbly thinks that there’s really only one, true way to get back to the old school magic of the Phenoms.

Getcha a cold shot of Crown. Dim the lights. Listen to Sinatra’s “One for the road”.

That's what I do. At a quarter to three. And there’s no one in the place. Except Frank and me.

And if some Corporate Country fart tries a watered-down remake of that, I’ll truly know that, as a society, we’re all doomed. In fact, it wouldn't suprise me if it's been covered by Rascal Flatts already.

Ring a Ding Ding, baby.

LEEBO’S MUSICOLOGY 101: Blues is Truth

We’re starting a new section here on THE LEEBO SHOW.

This is a part of the show called Leebo’s Musicology 101. It is meant to share my opinion and love of music with you, and you know who you are, whoever you are.

Right now, I am going through a very tough time. Music is helping me cope, with hope. So, I am going to talk a little about it.

The opinions expressed here are completely my own and should you disagree or be offended by them, well, kiss my ass, whoever you are.

If you don’t like it, bite me.

Today, we are going to talk about the Blues, specifically, we are going to talk about how it seems to be vanishing from the musical landscape due to an indifference by the inventors and purveyors of Blues Music, black people.

We are also going to discuss how, ironically, this great art form is having its torch carried by white people.

We are also going enlighten you on the irony of Blues music by explaining just how stupid black people and white people really are.

My favorite music is Blues music. I love The Blues. I listen to many kinds of music, but I always have one foot in the Blues pond. To me, it is the quintessential, purest form of music I have ever heard. I think it is one of the single greatest achievements of humanity as a whole.

In this difficult point in my life, nothing gives me more hope than The Blues. If you don’t understand that statement, you don’t understand The Blues and you probably never will. Go back to listening to NPR, rap and/or crap.

Blues music originated in the cotton field, where many called it the “work song”. People sung as they tended to the fields, the work songs being combinations of gospel, country and blues music. Keep this in mind, it will become important later.

In the 1910’s and 20’s, blues music started to be recorded, by folks like Hart Wand and W.C Handy. Later, Memphis’ Beale Street would feature Blues as a backdrop for their clubs, including the famous Cotton Club. The likes of Blind Lemon Jefferson, Tampa Red and of course, Robert Johnson flourished. For the next 30 years, Blues nurtured and flourished with Bessie Smith, “Ma” Rainey and Big Bill Broozy and many other greats.

Then in the 50’s, blues went electric, thanks to Muddy Waters. Then, holy shit, did it explode. And despite what many folk say it exploded because of a white guy who borrowed (not stole) the best that black music had to offer: Elvis Presley.

Flash-forward several years to me. Me. MEEEEEEEEEE.

Like most dumb white people, my blues influence started with Elvis Presley. This was the first Blues, and probably the only Blues played in my house when I was a kid. I didn’t know I was listening to Blues…. at the time, it was just The King. But it paved the way.

Then one night, when I was 15, at Ron Hammond’s house, I was at a party. And everyone was getting action from chicks except me and Paul Koch. All of them had adjourned to different rooms. Pauly was passed out drunk on the couch. He had gotten into somebody’s parents’ gin.

I had gotten into the gin too, but was nowhere near passout stage. So I went into Ron’s records (remember them?) and put on Ron’s big, Princess Leia-style headphones (remember them?) and listened to Eric Clapton’s JUST ONE NIGHT.

All 4 sides. (Remember sides?)

It changed me. And it was the start of 2 things: My lifelong love of Blues and my Giant, Toxic Liver.

I became Eric Clapton’s greatest fan (Sorry, Cheryl, it’s true.) I delved into blues and learned its roots. I grabbed all I could, and I soon realized, that rock music is blues-based. I heard blues in the music I was listening to, in Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix and I sure as hell heard blues in the Stones and Cream. And don’t let anyone tell you AC/DC isn’t a blues band. They are.

Of course, I was listening to most music 10-15 years my junior at the time. I assure you, there is no blues in REO Speedwagon. Or Loverboy. That’s all crap.

I became aware of how far reaching this phenom was, and how important it was to American music. People like B.B. King, Buddy Guy, John Lee Hooker, Albert King, Robert Cray, Stevie Ray and Jimmy Vaughan, Junior Wells, Elmore James, Steve Miller and others became my mantra. Extremely important people to me, and instrumental in my development into the retard I am, I assure you.

Now here’s the kicker.

Black youth of today hate blues. Because it originated from the ‘work song” they consider it “slave music”. Yet, hip-hop and rap, which, in my opinion, represent nothing substantial, are their particular choice of music. And with most white youth as well.

You really get a viewpoint of when you see some pasty faced, little, zit-faced white guy at the red light blaring out crappy hip-hop music. Jeez, get fucking real, willya?

I sat at LEGEND’S in Chicago in the 80’s and talked personally with Buddy Guy. I told him there were too many white people in his club and he lamented to me on how black youth considers his art form “shit” and they totally disregard its merit. It hit home with me. Here, was an incredible artist who I respected and admired, lamenting, because youth in his race were rejecting him and what he cultivated, and loved.

WAKE UP, BLACK PEOPLE.

He said the same thing last Thursday night at Ruth Eckerd Hall. And indeed, B.B. King mentioned similar tidings. “Lord knows there’s no blues on the radio anymore.” Buddy said that. He’s right. That’s a future post.

And there was a substantial white contingent in the crowd for this show. And guess what? Here are two LEGENDS, performing brilliantly. And during BB’s show, it started to run a little toward midnight, on a work night, and ….many white people started walking out.

Hello? Walking out during the great BB King? I know you have to be at work tomorrow, but what the hell?

This man is a legend. At, 83, he has come out and performed at a VERY high level for you. And you want to beat traffic. You stupid, white people. You stupid, insipid, shallow white people.

WAKE UP, WHITE PEOPLE.

So, there you have it. Black people are stupid for ignoring their greatest contribution to music of the 20th century. And white people are stupid for walking out on its greatest artist to beat a little traffic.

Leebo on Beale Street, Memphis, TN

I’ll always have one foot in the Blues pond. I love the music. I love the way it evokes a response in me. I love everything about it. I love Blues. Blues is truth.

And I’ll never walk out on BB King.

Never.

Stupid white people.

And you’re damn right I got the Blues.

From my head down to my shoes.