Images from Gillam Farms, Judsonia, Arkansas

Images from my stay with some of the greatest people I will ever know. My friends at Gillam Farms, in Arkansas.

This face opens doors, baby.

Clay and Parker: COMEDY

Clay and Parker: TRAGEDY

This monstrosity was parked outside my hotel room one night. I believe it to be a recreation of Smokey cloning himslef and having a bizarre bear hug orgy.

They have had no rain here for six weeks and the average temps have been around 100 degrees F with the heat indexes reaching around 118F. The blackberry plants are not faring well.

My QC girl Kayla is a sweetie. She rocks. And she's a good girl.

Even though she's standing next to me.

The Ghost Who Sucked

ATTENTION WORLD: THIS IS NOT THE PHANTOM.

I have just watched SyFy Channel's new miniseries called "The Phantom". To say I did not like it is a galactic understatement.

I'd like to provide my review: This redition of The Phantom is a f-ing abortion and I deny its existance totally and completely.

I despise and loathe this. I hate every damn thing about it. From the shitty costume to the crap story. This rendition of THE PHANTOM totally and completely sucks.

To take a character I love as much as THE PHANTOM and sink it to these depths is the epitome of a miscarriage of source, story and character. These idiots do not get it. They had no business even being involved with Lee Falk's beloved character. They have no soul and no love for the source material what so ever. They suck. Forever. This crime is inexcusable.

With THE SPIRIT sucking ass, then this PHANTOM abomination, and then the oncoming onslaught that I see to be JONAH HEX, it is truly a Trifecta Of Shame.

3 great characters lobotomized by unfeeling Hollywood A-holes who have no grasp on what made them great (Though with Frank Miller, I do believe he knew what made THE SPIRIT great, he just completely, and mysteriously, misfired.).

This SyFy shit is not THE PHANTOM. IT IS NOT THE PHANTOM.

I'd like to repeat that, because it sounds fairly important:

THIS SHIT MINISERIES IS NOT THE PHANTOM.

F-you, SyFy Channel.

My hatred toward you right now is undying and will exceed my lifespan for eons upon eons.

This crap you have spent millions to produce is not THE PHANTOM.

Below is THE PHANTOM.





I wish a pox on all involved with this complete and total piece of garbage miniseries.

If it gets turned into a series I will have acheived a new disrespect for how truly stupid the public truly is. And believe me, that would be an impressive low.

F-you, SyFy, you completely and totally suck huge amounts of ass.

Random Shots of Spaceships!

For your viewing pleasure, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, a really cool little kick-ass ship.

The U.S.S. Defiant!

Arkansas Blackberries Are My Life

Howdy.



I'm in Razorback country, by way of Tarheel country, by way of Gator country.



Confused? OK, I'm in Arkansas.



It's Father's Day and I am away from my Dad, yet I called and he seems reasonably OK with that. Perhaps that's the greatest gift I can give him: not being in the same state.


So, I sit in places like Gillam Ridge (see above) and hang out in the 108 degree heat, which makes a dry county even dryer. Not to worry, though, I still have plenty of Sheiner Bach beers and some Crown in my hotel fridge.



I haven't really documented my travels very well. That ends now. I want to take some pics of the great people here, my friends at Gillam Farms. I'll be posting more over the next few weeks.

After all, who would want to miss genius and beauty like this?

Random Act of Strangeness

Hi.

I'm currently in NC by way of Gator Country.

I don't really have much to say. I've just been taking things day by day.

This post is just going to some random stuff from my travels.

It will be more entertaining if you've been drinking.

The above illustration was actually in a bathroom stall at one of the blueberry farms I have been to.

See, some people are from poor countries where plumbing is scarce and they come to America to find that they are unused to the splendor and majesty that is the American sewer system.

They don't know that bullshit is what holds us together as a country and we know how to handle our massive surplus of crap by sending it through various tubes and pipes that go places most sensible people don't even want to think about.

Fortunately, some alert, sensible person created this job aid/procedure/process defintion.

God bless America.

I love JONAH HEX. I think he's a great character. They should make a movie out of him.

That is why I believe this movie will totally and completely suck.

See, I loved THE SPIRIT too.

At a little plce on the river.... that I think was called The Crab Shack....in Savannah, GA....in the parlance or our times...you can order a drink named after The Dude.

Far out, man.

This piece of crap that passes for art is in Wilmington, NC off the Cape Fear river.

Or... maybe I'm missing the point.

Nah. It's crap.

This chair should be mine. It rests in the sole liquor store for miles in Elizabethtown, NC.

There's a sign saying please don't sit in the chair. I really want to sit in that chair.

Mechanical picking at Lem's farm in NC, high above it all.

It was a whole new world up there. Plus, it made my ass vibrate. Groovy.

Soon, I leave the land of NC and Fat Tony's and go to rural Arkansas.

I would love to say my creative juices will be flowing there.

The beer certainly won't be, so maybe the creative juices will.

Or, maybe I'll drive 50 miles to go get some beer.

The Dude Abides.

I surrender

Attention, Engineers and others like you:

I give up. You win.

My resistance is futile, I shall assimilate myself into your collective. I renounce all that I know and pledge to you the following:

I shall not think... and when I am in danger of thinking I shall call at least 4 people to keep it from escalating.

I shall not act when I can over-analyze every micro-fiber of every problem, delaying even the simplest of action or reaction to the point that it is critical that it should have been acted on yesterday.

I shall not say "idea" when I mean "concept". Because "concept" is YOUR word.

I shall constantly analyze and re-analyze the minute and the meaningless... and I shall create grand discussions about it and its perceived repercussions amongst the disinterested masses. Repercussions, people.

I shall not celebrate my success or the success of others. I shall treat any success as a lucky happenstance considering how inferior we are as a cohesive unit. And I shall worry about those that enjoy each others company "after hours" to the point where we must all work to eliminate "after hours".

I shall not laugh unless I am extremely funny and even then, I will be the judge of that.

I shall drink warm soda and eat cheesy poofs, but I shall indulge in them only on holidays. I shall also work to eliminate holidays.

I shall feel responsible. Even if it was beyond my control. Especially if it was beyond my control. And I will exact repercussions on those I deem responsible besides myself, whether they have responsibility in the matter or not. Said repercussions will not reach me, but others. Repercussions, people.

I shall not trust and no matter how lofty of a position I have, I shall dissect with excrutiating detail any and all records or expenses of those beneath my position. I shall render those who should be monitoring that activity for me useless but I shall pay their salaries anyway.

I shall panic when discretion and dialogue are necessary. I shall guage each problem by the amount of panic I am able to lend to the situation.

I shall berate and belittle when diplomacy is needed to make someone better. I shall also be threatened by people trying to be better. After all, they should have been up to my lofty standards in the first place.

You win. I surrender.

Just kidding.

Bad news, creativity and imagination still live and still thrive. Just not in your world.

And you make me wonder.

And hunger.

For cheezy poofs.

Conrats to my friend, Jeremy Gillam, State Representative for Arkansas District 49!!

I have personally thanked future Governor of Arkansas, my friend Jeremy Gillam, for his successful 66% majority vote, trouncing his oppontent into obscurity for his bid to become State Representative for District 49 in Arkansas.

Watch The Leeman's congratulations through the wonder of pixelated technology!

Conrgratulations, Jeremy!

http://growing49.com/

More Random Shots of Spaceships!

I certainly have to include early in our random shots of spaceships collection the Firefly-class vessel, SERENITY.

From the late and much lamented Joss Whedon TV series FIREFLY, which, after being cancelled, inspired The Big Damn Movie, SERENITY.

Click on it to embiggen it. To paraphrase Mal, this here's a spectacle worthy or some consideration.

Raise a glass of Mudder's Milk to her. She's shiny.

God help me.....

.... I've finally gone and done it.

I'm on Twitter.

I'm a Twitterer.

It's just one more way to follow my hilarious hijinx.

I'm not sure that's how you spell "hijinx", but you get the picture.

I'm on Twitter as TheBigLeeboski.

Natch.

it's just one more way to belong to the machine.

Greetings, programs.

http://twitter.com/TheBigLeeboski

Frank Frazetta, R.I.P.

Just learned Frank Frazetta passed away.

Very sad, a true visonary, his works will live on.

To see some of his fine prints, click here.

To check out his story, click here.

I remember litstening to a lot of Molly Hatchet growing up and marveling at his work.

An unparralelled artist, to be sure.

Rest in peace, Mr. Frazetta.

Random Shots of Spaceships!!!!!

Welcome to a new, exciting chapter of our little part of Cyberville. Random shots of spaceships.

Basically.... its random shots of spaceships. Yes, I'm a geek.

And what better spaceship to start with than the most famous one of all....The Starship Enterprise?

Live long and perspire.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

You are on my mind and in my heart today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, wherever you are.

I love you.

G is for Gainesville!

Figure G-1 - He's just looking for some shoes, or maybe a nice belt.

Howdy,

Well, The Leeman is currently immersed in the culture that is Gainesville, FL a.k.a. the home of your FLORIDA GATORS. I am stationed at the farm here doing the blueberry wrangling gimmick...

Got to have a good time here when I first got here, now it’s a lot of work.

Some people get home from work and watch the six o’clock news.

I come home from work and watch Saturday Night Live.

Figure B-1 - the source of my satisfying my powerful need to eat.

I’m still managing to have a good time though. Today I went to the Zucchini Festival in Windsor and I’m happy to say it was everything a forgettable festival should be. The only thing missing was beer and me.... 5 seconds after I realized there was no beer.

The Zucchini Festival is home to collapsible hats, the Sons of the Confederacy, the “Bubble Sweater” which was such a hideous piece of clothing that I couldn’t even take a picture of it. I’m serious. It was the Medusa of clothing, I thought if I took a picture of it my good taste would turn to stone.

Figure G-2 - Never let anyone tell you that rural Florida is not part of the South.

I wanted to do a post on Cinco De Mayo, but I had to work late. Still, I was able to put down a few Shiner Bachs for the blessed event.

(The following should be read with Homer Simpson’s voice in your head)

"What better way to celebrate the greatest Mexican holiday than to drink Texas beer from the state full of people that hate Mexicans..? "

I am enjoying my time here. Gainesville is a fun town.

My visits here were usually limited to going to Ben Hill Griffith, watching the game, getting hammered and maybe or maybe not going to the Café Risque.

Now, I’ve gotten I got to know my way around the city a little better. And found a few good watering holes and a few good places to eat.

Figure.... wow, what a figure, G-3 - A good place to eat.


Good night.... and good fight.

The greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself chained to Fate...

I visit my blog again after a long abscence.
Not much can be blamed for this.

Just Lee.

My head's in a wierd place.
Nothing's the same anymore.

I travel soon.
More challenges. I welcome them.
I take it day by day. I laugh more. I make others laugh more.

That's good.

The greatest of teachers won't hestiate to leave you there by yourself chained to Fate...

Nothing's the same anymore.

You think I'm wrong?

Conan's gonna be on TBS and Leno still sucks.

Interludes and Examinations

Hi.

Been a while. Again. Sorry. I'm in a place I have never been. I am still dealing with the loss of my Mom. It hurts worse now. I dunno why. But I know she would want me to keep going on and having fun.

So... the post after the worst post I've ever written will be a hodge-podge piece of jackass. I'm just trying to get back in the game, so I beg your indulgence.

So, last night, I went and saw Eric Clapton again, my second EC concert in 3 nights. I am now a 12 time Clapton veteran. Last night was the Orlando gig with C-lish and her friend, Reverend Lovejoy. It was outstanding. I sat back and ate 9 dollar ice cream and loved it.

We had good seats and it was a great gig.

Thursday night, Grudly Mandinko and I went to the Bank Atlantic Center in Sunrise where EC was playing, went to the box office asking if there were tickets..... and we wound up on the 2nd row.

I can't even begin to describe this. My hero, Eric Clapton... a scant 25 yards from me playing astonishing solos... I was completely alive. With what I've been through recently, it felt good.

The fat blob in the middle is me with Eric.

I needed this weekend. Seeing EC with two of my greatest friends.... well, as corny as it sounds... it gave me a dose of LIFE again. And it was something I needed.

Thanks Mike and Cheryl. I love you both and you were the perfect folk to lead me through this great musical journey.

I feel life again.

There was one point during a solo on "Old Love", where EC just hit some unreal riffs, and when he finished....I thought to myself...."damn".

And Mike Guerdon was standing behind me and afterwards, I heard him say ...."damn".

I will never forget that as long as I live.

Later, I decided that Mike Guerdon's son, Mikey, will be the new Eric Clapton, and if he fails, we shall beat him.

I'm kidding of course. In this pic, I told him to look like a rock star and this was the best he could do.

We both look constipated, which could put us on a Judas Priest album, at the very least.

I love this picture. Only in South Florida do you see a $60,000 Lexus as a food delivery vehicle.

I love this picture too.

This is my friend Jaime's parents, the pic taken somewhere in Chile in the 50's. I see this pic all the time right now... and I love it.

Maybe it's the way they are looking at each other... I dunno. I just think this pic is one of the coolest pictures I've ever seen.

I have 20 dollars to anyone who can tell me what bar I took this picture at and when, and if, I even liked the goddamn beer.

One of the things I want to do is reconnect with my fam. This is my cousin Marilyn. I want to see everyone again. My Mom would have liked that.

Me and Marilyn and Aunt Inge at Nick's in Hollywood. Nick's continues to be a big part of my life.

I'm working on being funny again. I promise. It takes time. All I can do is keep swingin'.

Peace.