Why is this man smiling? 54 mil, perhaps....?

I've kept from posting for a few days because I had reached 69 posts.

And not only is that my favorite number, I thought it might be a good omen or something.

Alas, like any Dolphins QB after Marino, it has failed to produce. And I am done tolerating it's failure. Moving on.

I love the Miami Dolphins. I don't think that's a secret. When I go, I wanna either go in or be buried in my Dan Marino Hall Of Fame jersey. I don't even care if I'm wearing pants. Just the jersey will be fine.

And I am determined to address football on this page, for that has been lacking. So let's talk Phins.

The putrid stench of last season is over, and that smell is not the afforementioned putrid stench, but of a Tuna. A Tuna determined to make my team better than it was. Which is good. Because nothing on Earth sucked worse than the Miami Dolphins last season.

Now, we have signed Jake Long, the Number One draft pick. That's cool. But here's the problem. The drama of the draft has been sucked out of me. I mean maximum suckage. Not even the good suckage either. Like, vampire suckage. The beauty is that we need so much help in every position, it does add some intrique into the lower selections of the draft. But, come on! I got the Tuna. When is the blockbuster deal gonna come?

There's been relatively little noise coming out of Davie. And Mike Guerdon flatulates near Davie, so that in itself is unusual.

With the Jason Taylor trade-talk going on, I really have no idea what to think of the Phins right now. Zach's gone, J.T. might be next, and the rest of the team be damnned because they sucked last year anyway.

And I'm still pissed about the Wes Welker trade to the Patriots. Thanks, Cam, you complete and utter buffoon.

The only thing I know is that I'll be at the Phins/Raidas game with Grudly Mandinko. And he'll put us in the damn Raidas section. And I'll either be hatin' it... or lovin' it.

I hope The Tuna can hook me up for that game. I now apologize for the next line.

You can Tuna a piano, but you can't Tuna Phish.